A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone,I'm 23 year old turning 24 in 2 months..I'm married to this gorgeous man I love and everything is going great,but we always need something to spice up our sex life.rather I need something to spice up our sex life..so I decided to suggest a threesome!!I haven't asked him yet,but do you think its a good idea..the third person would be a girl,a total stranger or may be a distant friend..should I go ahead with this?or will I regret?
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male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (2 January 2013):
I dont have knowledge of a single case where bringing a threesome into a committed relationship ever ended in anything but disaster.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 January 2013):
 Adding more people to the bed will not (long term) help your self life. If you want to spice it up I would look into other options and avenues to discover together.
Adding more people = adding drama.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 January 2013):
 I vote NO.
I do not think bringing a third party in to "spice up" your sex life is a good idea.
I came from an open marriage that did not survive extra people being allowed in it. I truly believe that had we not had an open marriage we would still be married.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (2 January 2013):
 I think that's a really bad idea. For one, if you think things are falling into a rut, a one night gamble won't fix it even if it is fun.
Two, the vast majority of monogamous couples cannot cope well with this. One party almost always feels jealous or hurt later. Once it happens, it cannot be erased. Those memories will be there forever. Unless you are in some kind of open marriage this is just not a good idea.
There are lots of other things you can try instead, just search around on the internet for more creative and less risky things to try.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2013): If you have thought this idea through and see no problems, that is one thing. But you have to convince your husband it is a good idea too. That might not be too hard first time around as you are planning to introduce another female into your sex lives. But will your husband be so keen if you want a man next time? How will he cope with that? For many men, sharing their woman/having another man watch them perform or touching them is a real no-no. So will you be ok if he refuses to try it with another man? Or will it cause you to resent him if he is more than happy to have sex with other women but refuses your request? What if he grudgingly goes ahead with a FMM threesome because it is `only fair` to you after a FFM but he resents you for it and starts to treat you differently. How will you handle that?What if you decide after the first FFM session that it wasnt as much fun as you thought but he loves it and starts pressuring you for more sessions with women? What if he decides sex with you alone is boring after a threesome and you can no longer satisfy him? How will you cope with that? How will you cope if he hates the idea of any type of threesome but goes along with it to please you, then later blames you for everything because he cant wrap his head around what happened? Do you have a strategy for coping with that very real possibility?All of the above and more, can and often do come into play. So it is up to you if you go for it or not but do remember it is not only you who will be affected but your husband also. Make no mistake he WILL be affected it is only a question of to what degree. He might be affected in ways you have absolutely no control over. Saying the other woman would be a stranger or distant friend might be a reassurance to you. But if this idea takes off for your husband, he will probably start his own wish list of who should be next. How will you feel if he chooses someone you know? A friend of yours or his? Will it disturb you or cause mistrust if you discover he would like sex with someone he is already in contact with, someone who is not distant or a stranger?What if his preferred choices are unlike you, different body type etc. Will that affect your confidence? What you are thinking of doing could have a massive affect on you, your husband and the marriage, so think long and hard.If you are married to a gorgeous man, you love him and everything is going great, you are very fortunate. Consider how priceless that is compared to a few hours of sex with others. You can get that type of thing any time but a great, loving relationship is much harder to find. You could try tantric or role play, two areas of sex that are a lot of fun and wont put your relationship at risk. I would give those a try before anything as extreme and risky as threesomes.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (2 January 2013):
 No not good. Have you tried role playing? Some domination stuff maybe? I once got bored with a girl and told her and she had me cum in her bra to which after she wore it the whole day. I never complained about being bored again lol
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (2 January 2013):
Asking "is it a good idea" isn't the right question, for some it is, for others it was a disaster.
Before jumping into it you have to ask yourself and your boyfriend some questions.
Does he care enough about your feelings to stop if you get jealous, even if he's having the time of his life?
What happens when you think of him being with another woman?
Will you expect a threesome with two guys if things go okay and will your bf be okay with that?
There are so many other things that you need to think about before deciding. Because it could either be the time of your life or the worst decision you've ever made. Don't let anyone tell you it's good or bad since no two people are the same, just try to be as honest as possible with yourself about all the possibilities.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (2 January 2013):
 After you've asked hubby for this, and he's consented,... then I give it a 50:50 chance of ruining your marriage in less than a year.....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, Aunty Susie +, writes (2 January 2013):
 Someone will always be hurt - bad idea. Plenty of other things to try. There is a huge amount of literature on sex - do some research. Then have lots of fun experimenting.
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