A
female
age
,
*affled123
writes:I have been in a relationship for 9 years. During the first 2 years we had really amazing sex and it was an important part of our relationship. Then in the 3rd year we had sex less often until it finally stopped all together. I didn't want it to stop and when I asked why it had he said he was depressed and that it was not the most important thing in a relationship. So for the last six years we have not had sex. He is a man who doesn't like to talk about his emotions and he is not romantic at all so I have been unable to talk to him about it. If I try he changes the subject. At the same time we have a terrific relationship in every other way. We like the same things. We enjoy doing things together, traveling together. He would rather be with me than with anyone else and we see each other every day. We don't live together. I have 2 older kids at home and it works well this way. He's never been married and is set in his single bachelor life.I believe he is no longer attracted to me. I am slim and considered attractive by most so I know it's not my looks that are a problem but he just isn't interested. I have seen him flirt with others so I believe it's not a physical problem.I also realize that he is also giving up sex to be with me as he could leave but is comfortable with me in a sexless and emotionless relationship.I don't want to leave him but don't know whether I am doing the wrong thing by staying in such a relationship. I like being with him and enjoy everything else. But is friendship and companionship enough?
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female
reader, baffled123 +, writes (12 September 2010):
baffled123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, I suppose that it may sound confusing. He is the one who stopped wanting to have sex. But I think it's because he lost interest in sex with me. So wouldn't you think he would look for it elsewhere? Well he hasn't. He stays with me. Shows in every other way that he is happy to be with me, but he goes without sex or intimacy. I think the "I'm depressed" answer was just a way of not saying "I'm not attracted anymore." But he still wants to be with me.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2010): I'm confused. First you said HE didn't want to have sex due to depression. Then you said that nowadays he's giving up sex to be with you? Please clarify. Whose the one that doesn't want to have sex with the other, and why?
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