A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:5 years ago I was moderating in a quiz room and met this wonderful man. We got on like a house on fire from the onset and eventually met 6 months later. I was reluctant to meet him as he was married and when we did so it was only as friends. We met a few times afterwards platonically and I fell in love with him. I was angry at myself for doing so and tried so hard but we just “clicked”. He and his wife had been sleeping in separate beds for years and I know that to be true as he showed me round his house on his web cam, he most definitely slept alone.Anyway, for 2 years we seen each other (he lived 350 miles away) but I kept getting pressure from my family about how he was married etc. and to dump him. He wanted to leave but found it very difficult as his kids lost 3 grandparents and a very close aunt in the course of a year and now he was going to leave the house too. We tried to end it a few times, sitting in the car saying how it was for the best and we’d both cry openly. A few days would pass then one of us would make contact again, I just feel we are MEANT to be together, does that make sense? To cut a long story short I listened to my family (too much pressure eventually) and told him finally it was over, like my family said, 2 years had passed and he still hadn’t left the house. I met someone else shortly afterwards and moved in with him. Looking back now I did it for all the wrong reasons, to show my ex I wasn’t waiting around and that I didn’t “need” him anymore and security for me and my 2 kids. This man was wealthy, he was 24 years older than I was and he idolised me and the kids got on great with him. The only drawback was he worked overseas a lot of the time and some nights I’d lie awake (alone) and think about my life and what I’d done. Was I truly happy? Of course I was, I wanted for nothing now and my kids got on great with him! Why then could I not stop thinking about my ex? He (my ex) knew I had moved on (he contacted my friend online to ask how I was) then one day I got an email from him asking me how I was and was I happy? My heart skipped a beat! We continued to speak from then on and as the months passed I realised he felt exactly the same as I did but I’d put my ex through so much pain when I finished it, he told me so yet he told me he’d never stopped loving me… My partner knew we still spoke but obviously not to what extent but he was okay about that, as long as I was happy. He trusted me and rightly so, I would never cheat on anyone I was with. We’d talk for hours (when my partner was overseas) and say how much we missed one another and how we wished things could be different. His daughter (16) had since taken a nervous breakdown and was in hospital getting psychiatric help… more pressure for him not to leave the marital home!To cut a long story short I lost my partner last year and I’m living on my own again with my 2 kids. I’ve since met someone else and we get along great but he lives 4 hours from me so talk on the phone and text more than anything else. I’ve met with him twice but still very new. We get along well enough, he’s just what I need, he’s clever, kind, funny and good for me but I just can’t get my ex out of my head as much as I try to. He knows I’m seeing someone else and said that’s great, (bravado - he’s an extension of me, I know how he thinks better than he does, he asks when he calls (the new guy I’m seeing) and how things are going constantly.) Oh and by the way, he is now divorced – my ex – but still lives in the same house as the wife. (There’s no rush to move now he says). We’re STILL in contact (or we were until last week) when we had a stupid argument and I again told him it was pointless us keeping in touch as nothing could come of it and he agreed. We’re both in situations we can’t get out of just now and it just seems like obstacle after obstacle is put in our way so we can’t get together. We’ve not contacted each other for over a week now. Why am I missing him so much and can’t stop thinking about him and I know he’s feeling the same… I can feel it. What do I do for the best?
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male
reader, maddox08  +, writes (22 February 2008):
 Girlfriend all he wants is the convenience and what a coincidence that he had an excuse for everything when it was time to move out of his house. I think you should just keep on steppin. Did you ever wonder why he and his wife slept in diffrent beds? Maybe she caught him cheating on her more than once?
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