A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Agony AuntEver since I was little I had this thing for my cousin. He's 3 years older then me. We would always play hide and go seek and we wold hid in my Grandma's closet and we'd do strange things. I don't remember most of it though. After we got older something happened I think it was a fight. Anyway we didn't really talk so much and he didn't like me and I didn't like him. But recently I went on vacation with my parents and he was there with my Aunt and Uncle. I have started to try to be friendly with him since I don't want him to think I hate him. After a couple days we started hangin out. We went to the beach or something while our parents talked. We were playing this game where he would throw the ball and I would have to run and catch the ball before him. I grabbed it but it was in the deep end and he tripped on me. He tried to help me up but as he did he started to stare in my eyes. He almost kissed me but then he said sorry and we just kept on going with the game for a lttle bit. Later we went parasailing and it was so awkward with me sitting between his legs. After that we went swimming in the ocean. I layed on thisfloat and he pushed me into the deep end on the other side of the sand bar. I was so freaked out that I just grabbed on to him and he whispered in my ear that he wished we weren't cousins.After that he like threw me into the water. He acts weird when our family is around, but when we are by our selves he talks to me a lot and we have fun. My family is trying to get them to come back out this year but I don't really know what to do. I dont want my parents to know or anyone else but it's really hard since I'm really unsure.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): If he said he wishes you weren't cousins, that says that he probably loves you too. I think you should talk to him and see if he feels the same way about you that you feel about him. If you both feel love for each other, then it's OK to pursue a relationship with him, but I would keep it quiet and not tell your parents. Just have fun with each other exploring your love, sexuality, and anything else you have in common, and just see where it goes. Since you are so young, if you have a relationship with him, it will probably only be a temporary one, and you will both probably move on to other people, but you could still be really close friends.
President Theodore Roosevelt and his wife Eleanor were cousins and married each other, so relationships between cousins are quite common. Just follow your heart, and as long as it is based on love for each other, it will take care of itself.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): Perhaps you should reflect on the times you remember with him? I actually have a simular problem. I shouldn't be the one giving you advice, but people tend to avoid this subject. Well, if he's your first cousin and you find yourself loving him, the logical thing to do is to not be with him. Ya'll might wanna have kids one day, and the risk is pretty high for first cousins to have a kid with defects. However, I gotta say you should figure out if you love him or not. I'm sorry to say most of it you gotta do on your own. With me, I love my second cousin and he doesn't even know it. Atleast you know enough to decide. But, I think you helped a bit with my problem too. Anyway, if you love him and he loves you back, you can tell the family or keep it low until your 18 and can make it on your own. Whatever it is, don't bottle it up, if he does love you and you end up loving him, not telling him fast enough could hurt you both.That's my advice, a bit of personal experiance with it. If that's not for you, find out a way to do whatever! (I've found it's different in people who love their cousins) It's hard to explain, but I hope I helped a little. I wish you the best of luck~~Tayune
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