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anonymous
writes:
A year ago this past Saturday my girlfriend left me and moved out of our house into her own flat.
The relationship for the past 4 months prior to that wasn't good and it was inevitable she would leave. Now her reasons behind this were that I was lazy, put her down, and generally not be there enough for her which I know were right.
Since the split last year we spoke and met in the December as I wanted her name off the house and we came to an amicable agreement financially and it all went smoothly, I was still very angry and she seemed very disinterested in me. I found out not long after that she had met up with a guy who she met through work. She had spoken about this person on a few occasions while still with me to a few people and found out that she had slept with him after the split, and for the next 6 moths after she left got on with her life and made lots of new friends (virtually all men). Is this usual?
Around march this year I found out that she had been used by this guy (or she said the thought she had) and the relationship was purely sex as she felt crap because of what we had gone through and how I treated her.
In January I met her by accident in a club and I was still angry and thus spoke to her the next day and I was very upset and told her I still love her and missed her. Since then we have seen each other more but only when her 40 year old male room mate isn't at home. None of her friends know that she's been seeing me for the past 6 months and only in the last 2 months we've started having sex together.
She and myself have said that were confused and don't want to rush things and also since march this year ive met a girl and my ex appears to want to see me more due to this, she seems jealous also. Im at the stage now where I just don't know what to do.
On the positive side of things I know I still love her, miss her, have that attraction, respect etc. But time and time again I have bad thought feelings I.e her going out with male friends going on holiday with them and not knowing what she is up too.
I'm not sure if I trust her.
She's slept with another guy, maybe more!
Most of her spare time is with guys as I saw her out this weekend with about 5 guys. And the Sunday she came around I found out she had been with one of the guys all afternoon shopping, she also works with him and talks about him a lot.
She seems a different person now, more outgoing, chatty and happier. She's worried what her friends would think if they knew she's slept with me.
Now, ive also had sex with one other person while we were apart and my ex doesn't know about it. Even worse is that I had sex with someone while still with her about 3 weeks before she left.
My friends are supportive but haven't suggested anything to me about what I could/should do. One has said that ive been with her it hasn't worked out so move on but I cant, sometimes I want too but I find it too hard.
It feels like she is using me a little when she has a spare evening or weekend she will call me.
What do you see in this situation and what would you recommend I do?
Thanks
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ex girlfriend, jealous, move on, moved out, my ex, on holiday Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2007): give her time, then ask her str8
A
female
reader, Tessa_doll  +, writes (14 May 2007):
It is just infatuation that you have for her and that she has for you....
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A
male
reader, harshbutfair  +, writes (18 April 2005):
 She probably is using you, but you are also using her. If you are happy with the situation I would keep the status-quo. Use your internal happy-o-meter to guide you on this one.
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