A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey there, in serious need of advice. I have been so stupid the only bloke I loved I have pushed further and further away with my stupid behaviour. We broke up just over a year ago, and I have texted him near enough non-stop in a friendly way. Like asking if hes ok? etc, but I have not let go of him at all. We walked passed one another the other day and he just comletely blanked me. Then I texted him saying that my affection was wasted on him and that he doesnt give a toss about me, now nor do I about him. Which is not true. I know my behaviour has been accepable, I just felt so rejected and sad because he moved away I panicked and got myself in a state. For the past year I think I had a bit of a nervous breakdown or something similiar because I just couldnt function, I was crying all the time and gave up on life. I didnt see the point in trying if I was that wortheless that I did not deserve a second chance. I have pushed and pushed him and bless him he has taken it. Maybe he enjoys the attention? suppose he has never had to think about me or miss me as I have been the one making all the effort? He is the shy reserved type but so kind, he doesnt deserve me soffacating him all the time. I wanted to make things up to him but I have only made things worse. I have made myself look desperate and needy and I have never been like that, I have always been strong. I felt so rejected that when he has called I have just mumbled a few words and put the phone down, so he must think I dont want he back shes so miserable?. I have given up completely on him now. Is there any way back if I give him loads of space and then phone maybe in the future or do you think enough is enough. PLEASE HELP.
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female
reader, buffy 37 +, writes (19 November 2008):
the best thing you can do is right him a short note saying that your OK now withe the break up and that your sorry for any wrong you have done,, keep it short and sweet just straight to the point, and say you no he needs his space and that your not for getting in touch with him for a while but that in the future you would like to be friends. say nothing more just sign it and post it to him then the most important part is not to call or text him for a month don't be tempted at no point . then you have to try and get out and about do things you always wanted to try but never did. spend time with your friends get your self looking the best you have in ages , should it be a new hair cut if you can buy yourself some new clothes which make you feel good that's great because it helps our self esteem . when we feel good and look good it attracts attention from everyone if your talking to his friends always try and smile and looking happy and content , this might just get him thinking about you let him think you have moved on it sometimes works well because you no the old saying we all want what we cant have !! and in doing all this it will most importantly make you feel good about yourself life is so short we should always treasure every moment of it we have . i myself am just out of a 11yr relationship 5 week and i love him very much still. but these have helped me a bit because he now phones me and we spend some Saturdays together he has also told my friend he loves me as much now as he always did and doesn't want anyone else but just so much has happened he's scared in case we go back and it doesn't work out time is a great healer and you will have a great life of your own with or without him and oh laugh at anything try to be happy its good for us to laugh good luck you can let me no how you are getting on if you want xx
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