A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My wife and I are having very hard time in our relationship. My wife is very loose temper and gets upset very easily. We are married from last 7 years and have 2 kids. In last 7 years we are having fight almost once every month or so. Whenever we have any disagreement on anything we don't talk to each other for weeks. So we give each other silent treatment. I am occasional drinker and have 1-2 drink every couple of months but never get drunk or anything. I promised my wife before marriage that I will stop drinking because there is nobody drink in her family. I kept my promise for 2-3 years but then I started drinking again duirng happy hours with my colleagues and my wife was okay with that. Recently on my birthday I asked her that I want to drink a beer but she said NO and I got little upset. I did not drink and was upset that night but next day I tried to talk to her but she did not want to talk to me and was very mad at me. She told me that my occasional drinking ruined many things and she is fed up with that. But I think its not my occasional drinking, its her loose temper that caused fights between us many times. So I would like to know who is right and wrong. Is drinking 1-2 beer every couple of months so bad?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): Hey bud!Drinking one or two as I used to do at meals wasnt a bad idea a few years ago for me. Nothing bad ever happened but because of men like you its how I learned. This is positive , not negative pal. YOU may not get drunk off one or two or anything bad can happen, but there is ALWAYS ALWAYS that possibility something bad can happen. For example, say youre having a nice dinner and having a glass of wine a friend calls and says hes on his way over...then you may feel a bit more excited hes coming over and thus feel the need to drink more and sooner or later you get intoxicated and put yourself at more risk with things. Booze its plain and simple: My religion strictly and i mean strictly forbids it. HOWEVER, before my religion it was my logic that said stay the f*** away from alcohol, nothing good can come from it. Why? Its costs outweigh any benefits and as in your case I find this highly evident. Another thought, if youre just drinking occassionally, it shouldnt be hard to permanently remove it from your life since youre not dependent on it and need it "for the hard times". If you stopped, I feel it would be both beneficial for yourself and your wife. Good luck :)
A
female
reader, sinkorswim +, writes (30 September 2010):
 Drinking 1 or 2 beers a month is not so bad, but I wonder what religion you and your wife follow? Your English reads like an Asian.. If she's devout to her faith then I can understand why she'd be pissed at you. If I'm wrong, sorry!
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A
female
reader, DenimandLace44  +, writes (30 September 2010):
 Not for everyone. However it is for you, because you promised her before you married her you would stop. Then you talked her into a night out with the guys, and now you want it at home. It doesnt mean either of your positions are right or wrong. But it makes you a man who hasnt kept his word. To be honest you two have deeper issues and part of it is that you are in a power struggle to each be right and to have your own way with no care of the others feelings. Marriage is about putting someone elses wants and needs before your own. None of us have it perfected yet. :)
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