A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Alright, hazy judgement at the moment so I need help!Last June I met an amazing girl, we fell in love within a week, she broke up with her (then current) boyfriend and started dating me. It was very sudden and quick for both us, yet super amazing. But last month, she broke up with me.This was my first relationship and first time my heart beats fast *every time* I hug someone, so I went ahead said it was love.Through out our relationship we had talked about her leaving the country for study exchange in September she always expressed how we could stay together but I just wasn't sure. She would bring examples about how wives and their husbands in WWII went through it for longer periods than just 6 months of school without even having means of communication expressing that we should be able to do it too, however I never expressed the same enthusiasm about it and only explicitly said that I wanted to be with her too once (and I wasn't lying when I said it). About a month before we broke up we had the "main" talk about her leaving after she mentioned plans to come back during Christmas break to see me. so we got talking and I told her I wanted to be single when she leaves and then I want her back when she comes back. (looking back I think it was mainly motivated by the fact that I felt overwhelmed by that she was becoming overly needy so I felt that I wanted some space, I didn't process that feeling in my mind at that time and therefore failed to communicate it with her. and I thought 6 months would be perfect time off) she responded by saying that she agrees that she wants to be single too because she wants to make sure she can be O.K on her own especially that she hasn't been single for a long time (5years) and we agreed to break up at the end of the summer. One month after we talked, and me not putting much effort to be nice to her as she is my girlfriend, she broke up with me (came as a shock to me especially that we had so many plans to do together for the summer and especially that I didn't see myself being an idiot at the end). she said she still loves me but her reasoning was that there are many things that were going to make her really busy this summer(including a school term) that will stand in the way of the relationship and she doesn't want to feel like she's half-assing it. The details initially made sense, we were both happy that we both said that we should remain friends and said we'll talk to each other in a few weeks. after we broke up I set out to think of what I did wrong, and realizing that saying I didn't wanna be with her deeply hurt her didn't come in the picture until later. And I also realized that I wasn't as nice as i'd like to be to her (almost a jerk at times).both her personality and just being in a relationship were brand new things to me, and looking back I handled things poorly. I was dying to tell her that I was so sorry for everything I regretted doing and not doing. We met up last week and I spilled my heart out, she told me that it makes a difference that i figured out these things and part of her still loves me. she said she didn't want to tell me that she didn't feel loved because I would get defensive and feel victimized and hate her. I agreed. When I told her we deserve a second chance when she comes back, she said "it's possible but I don't want you to hang on to it"this could mean either one of two things- she knows she doesn't want to get back with me, but she just doesn't want to say no because it will hurt me. - or she does wants to get back with me, but doesn't want to come back here only to find that i have already moved on and get hurt again.I spent a lot of time figuring out the things i love about her as well as what I don't like about her and I have such a deep feeling that she is the one for me, and I want her to know that so that, if she was thinking about getting back with me, she can feel better and more confident about giving me a second chance.The crazy Idea that I got in my head is what I need help with. I want to show up after one of her classes (around 90 people in it) with a red rose and my guitar and play an edited one-minute version of this song for her.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HteHM0RvSSQI'm a pretty confidant guy so I don't think i'd look like a loser doing it. I just CAN NOT tell whether doing this is a ridiculous thing that I should immediately forget or a sweet thing that will help her realize that I truly love her.Wow, this was much longer than i thought! i hope that someone will read this! (hopefully not her tho cuz then i'm screwed!)
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