A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my girlfriend of 3 years who I had wanted to marry, and spend the rest of my life with recently had a break up on Sunday the 6th, it was quite a brutal break up, and I'll admit, i've never been this depressed in my life. Nothing seems right, nothing tastes right, I can't do anything. I haven't gotten out of my bed except to shower since we broke up, i can't sleep usually till 4 in the morning and I can't stay asleep until any longer than 8. I'm dreadfully tired, but no matter what I do I can't sleep.On top of that, I can't eat. Anything, and everything I eat comes back up soon after wards. I try eating a little at a time, but one single bite and i'm runnin' for the toilet to throw it back up. My stomach hurts so bad, but it really doesn't bother me that much, i've lost 18 pounds in the last 5 days.I don't know what to do.
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male
reader, pdrake  +, writes (25 July 2014):
yup. i'm there now. was doing great after three months no contact then saw my ex at a bar last night. i left immediately because i didn't want to see if she was with a guy. now i am back in full breakdown mode. in one day. we were together 4 years. split amicably 4 months ago, i didn't want the break. was doing great now because of one setback, can't get myself up for anything. please help.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010): hi. i'm going through much the same thing. I was with this guy who i thought was the love of my life and who i'd spend forever with. He left his girlfriend of three years for me, and now they're back together. I can't help but to constantly be wondering if his use for me was temporary and it was his plan to leave me brutally like this the whole time. I can't help but to question the love we had and its sincerity on his end. At first I could only think about all the ways i fucked up and how if I had been a better person he wouldnt have left me, but now that the illusion of the love he was always feeding me has faded I can see his true intentions and I am honestly disgusted. How can someone who only wanted me to pleasure him while his girl was away at school feed me lies about how we were perfect for each other and how i was the only person he ever needed? when he broke up with me he was so cut throat and dry and just threw all my stuff out of his apartment. now his girl is living with him in the same room and apartment as I did, like I never happened. she found that he's worth it to forgive him for getting with me, but i'm not even left with that option. he's just sorry i got hurt, not sorry that he's the one who hurt me. in the beginning i felt so lost and confused and i didnt remember how to do anything without him. he was right there when i went to bed and a when i first woke up for so many days. every little thing reminds me of him still and at first it made me sick with sadness, but now i am just accepting that this is all for the better. i lost myself in the relationship and never wanted to be by myself..i felt like i ALWAYS had to be with him and in retrospect i honestly feel like i allowed him to brainwash me into his philosophy on life whose basis is selfishness. without him, i now see that i can be a better and more complete person and rather than spend my days in spite like he wants, i try to focus my energy on goodness and productivity because if he's happy back with his hot blond bitch, i should find my own happiness separate from him too and not let it ruin my summer. what blows is the fact that we have summer classes and even a lab together and i have to see him everyday and will probably continue to do so for many years through undergrad and grad school...but i hope every time he sees me he feels sick and terrible for how we treated a sweet and innocent person who did him no wrong. we will get through this. there are blessings hidden within the pain and while i feel that i will never be able to live a day of my life without thinking about him, i'm learning to take those reoccurring thoughts and use them to make me a better, stronger, and more cautious person.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've tried all of the mentioned things, i get up shower, get dressed like im headin out any other day, i play games, i like working on cars, and skateboarding, i try to eat but in the end it's pointless. When I eat, i simply throw it right back up. I start on something like games, or TV, or working on my car and i simply lose interest moments later.
Well, she got really drunk @ a friends house, and her best friend called me saying "she's drunk, and all these guys are are bragging about how they're going to fuck her" so, naturally i went over to take her home, she got mad @ me for coming over, and i lied to her to get her out of there. She got mad @ me when i told her the truth later that night and she dumped me. She doesn't understand that when she's drunk she won't come with me, unless i tell her something bad's happened. Which I realize is wrong, but in that situation i felt it was my only option. and she's quite violent until she finally passes out. Thank God she doesn't drink EVERY day. But that's it..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2010): Hey,
Most of us have been in your situation. When my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me last year I couldnt eat for nearly a week and I bet I got less than 10 hours of sleep in that week. People react to stress and heartbreak differently...where you might not be able to sleep,
another person will sleep for days on end. Like the previous poster, at least try to eat something so your body has something to digest. I know its hard but you can get through it. Find a hobby to keep your mind busy such as building something or maybe playing a video game. These things tend to keep you thinking about other things so the pain isnt so difficult. Also, friends are going to help a tremendous amount. Try to be around people as much as possible. Each day will get easier and easier. I know you probably dont believe me right now but when you look back on this in a few months you will realize that this has made you a stronger person.
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A
female
reader, Rachael2310  +, writes (12 June 2010):
 Heyyyy,Oh dear you poor thing. Big big hug! We've ALL been there. it's the worst pain imaginable!when you say it was brutal, how do you mean? by telling me about the break up i'm in a better position to offer you some more detailed advice.For now we can just concentrate on your pain ok. first things first, find the strength to get a nice hot shower. you may feel weak but even a shower will make you feel better.after your shower and some clean clothes, have something to eat, even if it's only small, it's a start. Enlist the help of friends, get them round to talk, even if you repeat yourself and talk about her non stop, it helps, you will soon get tired of talking about it until it makes sense in your own mind.try and get out for a walk, fresh air. have someone with you.its very very important to keep functioning and moving forward.Heart break is a horrendous pain but it does pass. Please keep in touch with me to let me know your progress. YOU'RE NOT ON YOUR OWN HERE OK!
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