A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A friend of mine has told me she was physically hurt by her father since childhood - it began when she was 13, but stopped when she moved out at 19, and she's now 20 - a year ago she moved out. She told me he'd never molested her or done anything sexually but had a hairtrigger temper and ranted constantly at her, and giving her bruises constantly.I advised her to report it to the police but the response we got was that it's not a priority for them right now, we were told that trying to stop a local supplier of warez was more of a priority and the police were putting all their resources into stopping them. They told us any conviction prospect would be unlikely.She is receiving counselling about this, and her parents are divorced - she no longer has any contact with her dadWe both feel disappointed and disgusted with their attitude; how could or should we deal with this?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2012): it's still a very short time that she escaped from him so for now I would say that she should stick with the counseling. Realize that she may be in therapy for many years or off and on. These sorts of things can take many years to process and heal. My cousin suffered abuse from her father when she was a kid (he molested her) and she's now in her 40s and just had a breakthrough in therapy. I don't mean to sound discouraging to you, just to let you know that these things take a long time to process and then to heal so don't try to put any timeframes on her healing, just take it one day at a time.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 November 2012):
 counseling is the best thing to do.
I had police once tell me they would not arrest my then husband because they did not see him attack me and I had no bruises... they came out later... so I get the frustration at the police not wanting to intervene... it's not right but it is what it is...
cutting off contact with her dad is a wise move.
my dad was very abusive to me growing up... over the many years of therapy and life, he's changed... I've changed... forgiveness happens (it's a very painful time to work through especially if he's later on willing to sit with the counselor and listen to her issues).... folks are often amazed that I've forgiven my dad.... but I have. totally.
the counselor can help deal with what feels much like a betrayal by the authorities.
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