A
female
age
36-40,
*enjen.270
writes:I need some advice, some advice from a man would really be helpful. I am 7 months pregnant, and my bf hasn't touched me in a long time. Is being pregnant a turn off for a man, is it because I am getting fat. We rarely make love anymore and when we do, he only worries about himself. He wont touch my stomach, and when I talk about the baby moving he quickly changes the subject. He makes me feel like he doesn't love me and that he is not happy about having a baby. What should I do, am I over reacting or what? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2010): maybe he isnt happy about you being pregnant, best thing 2 do is talk 2 him ask him if he is happy about the baby or not. Tell him how ur feelin wen he acts like the way does.
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (7 August 2010):
 Depends. Putting on a little baby weight is fine, and some men even like it. Putting on a lot of weight during pregnancy is not only a massive turn-off, but dangerous to you and the baby. I'm not a doctor (so if anyone is, please correct me), but the number I have heard to be ideal is about 25 pounds total.
It IS uncomfortable to feel the baby kick during sex, particularly starting during the third trimester. Never done it myself, but I've heard from friends who have.
As for why he worries only about himself, he is probably well aware that after their first kid, most women are physically and emotionally unable to provide him the sex he needs for some time afterwards. He will not tell you this because he believes that, rather than sympathizing, you will lash out and tell him how much harder your life is. Sadly, this concern will probably make him less sympathetic to you, as well - this is why it pays for everyone to show concern for one another, even when they have bigger problems.
Not accusing you of anything here, but if the baby is not his, you might smell "wrong" to him, too. It doesn't sound like that's the case, but I'll put it out there.
On the plus side, you may just be overreacting. Women's hormones during pregnancy are basically designed to attach her to a stable, provider-type male as soon as possible, so any perceieved disinterest on his part is going to be magnified ten times by your instincts.
Just make sure that the baby does not reduce the attention and love that your boyfriend is receiving, make sure to lose the weight as fast as you can, and make sure to start having regular sex with him again as soon as possible after the birth, and everything should be ok. Good luck!
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