A
male
age
30-35,
*im
writes:Hmmm. I'll be straight to the point.I'm male 17.I'm bisexual and obviously i like both men and women.I'm keeping an open mind to marry a guy or a girl in the future.I'd like to know how people would react to having a gay father or being married to a guy then having a kid (most probably adopted)?Is being a gay/bi dad such a harsh thing for a kid? I'd be depressed to know that my kid would be ashamed to have men as his parents...
View related questions:
depressed Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2007): Of cource there be some things the kid will have to overcome, he/she have to put up with some teasing, the maybe ashamed feeling of having two gay dads. BUT that should change and he/she should support you both and start standing up for you when people are mean. Also remember as time goes on, people are getting more open minded about gay people
A
female
reader, just-ask-xx  +, writes (5 October 2007):
 The answer is, listen to your heart, wether you're straight, gay or bi, people will accept you as who you are, I know two men that I grew up with have adopted and they are so happy and their kid loves them both, after all, he has two daddys!! Believe me, if you're a good guy, people will accept youfor you, especially your own kid. love, just-ask-xx
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2007): You're missing the point... it doesn't matter if you're straight or bi-sexual --- when you commit to marriage, you vow to "forsake all others"... whether they be male or female.
It'd be just the same for a straight man --- he's still attracted to other women but, despite that, he makes a commitment on his wedding day to forsake others and be true to his wife & his wife alone.
Realistically, even if you don't get married, but you enter into a relationship and kids are involved, you're (impliedly) making that same commitment - unless, that is, you discuss this with your partner & agree on a non-manogamous relationship.
If that's the case, your kids will love you no matter what.
...............................
A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (5 October 2007):
 Well, let me elaborate on what I mean by "it will not phase them." I mean that they will be used to it themselves, but in time they will realize that there are not a lot of other families that have two parents who are the same sex. You'll have to have a talk with them about this, but since you would be their parents, I doubt that it would have a significant impact on your relationship. (Why would it if the child has grown up in this environment?)
Do you have any gay and lesbian groups at your school or in your community? You may want to attend some meetings and speak with people who have first hand experience.
...............................
A
female
reader, stina +, writes (5 October 2007):
Hi aim,
I think that if a child grows up in an environment with both parents being of the same sex, it will not even phase them. The only thing that may happen is that other kids may make nasty comments - but they're probably going to make nasty comments anyhow. Kids can just be mean sometimes, you know.
You can try looking at the studies that have been performed, but only look at the documented evidence as opposed to editorials and newspaper articles that can have biased opinions tacked onto the actual research.
Take care.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2007): Well, I had a conventional upbringing and had both a mother and father who were very much in love and stayed together until the end. In those days homosexuals were not tolerated in society as much as they are now.
Personally, and because of my upbringing, if I found out that my father was a homosexual I would be devastated. If when I was very young I had been adopted or fostered, I do not think I could have accepted being placed with two male foster or adoptive parents, as that would have been totally abnormal for me.
I guess if a kid was brought up by two men that kid would think of his situation as normal. Until he got to school that is, and his or her 'Dads' picked him up afterwards. Then he could well be ashamed or at the very least embarrassed.
Phil
...............................
|
