A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 20 and finally have a serious b/f that I really like. We have been dating 2 months now and see each other every day. About two weeks into our relationship I told him that I wanted to wait until I was married to have sex for the first time with my husband and he was fine with that. My b/f misunderstood what I meant by "sex", I meant intercourse, he thought I meant everything else too.We usually make out a lot, french kissing, kissing each others necks, that kind of stuff, which gets me pretty horny. I wanted to have a little more intimacy, but he never even tried to take off my bra. So last Saturday I unzipped him and gave him my first blow job.I had a pretty embarrassing problem while doing the deed. My nose started running like crazy. I mean full out mucus. It was pretty gross. I never gave a blow job before and didn't know if that was normal. You never see mucus in pornos. Well, he orgasmed which startled me and I started to choke because my nose was stuffy due to the mucus and I pulled off of his penis and took a shot of cum in the face. Some of it got in my eye and it burned. It gets better...He tried to unzip my jeans, but I jumped off the bed and ran to the bathroom for some tissues. I accidentally slammed the bathroom door because I had a nose full of mucus, a face full of cum, partial vision loss and I needed eye drops. I was a mess and did not want him to see me like that. A few minutes later I emerged from the bathroom with a red tear filled eye, a runny nose and a box of tissues. He had his pants back on and was reading a magazine. Well that pretty much killed the mood and he didn't try to take off my jeans after that. We kinda made small talk and then he went home.He sent me a text later that evening telling me the blow job was really awesome and he apologized for trying to take off my jeans. He said he saw how much that upset me because I ran crying for the bathroom. He promised he would never try anything like that again since I was saving myself for marriage... what a boy scout! Like a dummy I said "Ok".I get embarrassed talking about sex, catholic guilt and all. Can I or should I tell him what happened? I would like a little more sex in our relationship, but now he thinks I got upset over his advances. It's pretty embarrassing... mucus face and cum in the eye and all, uggh. Is it normal for girls to get a really bad runny nose when giving a blow job?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (9 October 2009):
 ~Steps over the debate hoping someone posts it somewhere other than a poster's question, so she can feel more free to participate, and addresses the OP.~
You're welcome!
I also advised you speak to your boyfriend, as many others did, too. Hopefully that point didn't get lost in all of this.
Good luck! :-)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2009): technically you are right. However virgin also by definition means purity and i think theres very little left. Would you agree? Im of the old school of save yourself...but there is something that just doesnt make sense about 'being a virgin' and yet only saving what the fingers and tongue couldnt reach. I for one find it hard to recncile the two.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2009): You know.... this is ridiculous. My first sexual experience was a mess and you all are arguing over the definition of a virgin. I never said I was going to be a virgin when I got married, yet somehow this thread got way off target. I just want to save a special part of me for my future husband that's all.If any of you want to know what heppened, I took the advice of the anonymous male reader and a few others who weren't arguing about Bill Clinton and called my b/f. It wasn't easy but I explained about the runny nose and what happened with my eye and he actually thought it was pretty funny. So I guess he is not a "stick in the mud" after all.Next time I am going to use a different head angle. Thanks Lola1. Thanks to some of you for your honesty and help. I have no idea what tuna has to do with my problem. That's just weird.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2009): I'm the same poster who brought up the "Jesus" card. I was NOT assuming that R&B is a non-Christian. I was saying that it's clear that R&B has a view of saving oneself for marriage that is actually more in line with Christianity, if anything else. I'm saying that if even Jesus, probably the most celibate dude ever, can keep from insulting someone over their sexual ideals, than surely anyone who believes in celibacy/saving sex can do the same.
I agree that if my husband got a blow job from someone else, I would consider that cheating on me big time, and would definitely not be okay with it. Although I wouldn't consider it sex, it's definitely a type of sexual contact, and I think any kind of extramarital sexual contact is totally out of line in marriage (or boyfriend-girlfriend relationship). I also am not saying that viewing oral sex as separate from sexual intercourse makes it somehow okay to go around giving blow jobs to every guy on the street. I'm simply saying that I don't believe giving a blow job makes someone suddenly not a virgin, and I regret people telling the OP that because she gave a blow job she's not a virgin anymore.
I'm not even saying that I think it's okay to have sexual contact before marriage; because personally, it DOES go against my morals and I think it's a good idea to be as pure as you can for marriage. BUT what I'm saying is that I don't think oral sex or fooling around makes you not a virgin. I'm not condoning oral sex as a way to get what you want sexually without having to feel guilty, I'm just saying that I don't believe virginity and oral sex coincide. Other people might, and that's fine. Infidelity, on the other hand, is a separate issue from oral sex. Yes, I would consider a husband who received a blow job from another woman to be unfaithful - but I would also consider my husband unfaithful for kissing a human or even watching porn. Yes, I would agree that a woman who goes around giving blow jobs to multiple guys is not very sexually pure. But I still disagree that having oral sex is the same thing as losing your virginity.
And I was not calling the OP a prostitute, thanks. I was simply trying to say regarding R&B that if you believe you're in a position to dole out insults to someone who engages in sexual activities that you consider inappropriate, as you did in your first post, maybe you should think about setting a peaceful and loving example more like the God you follow than by delivering such degrading and nonconstructive criticism. That's not going to help the situation, and it's not going to convince someone who disagrees with you to respect or adopt your viewpoint.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2009): i have to agree, no matter what the dictionary says. Because if my husband was getting a bj from another source, i am 100% positive that i would feel like he had sex with another. Ask the many school teachers and registered sex offenders what they actually did. Many never penetrated. And yet they are SEX offenders.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (9 October 2009):
 Comment #1: Two months should not be considered a very serious relationship, but if it suffices for you to provide oral sex, fine (and also assuming, with some doubt, that this is actually a serious question).
Comment #2: It is quite common for oral stimulation, which goes both ways in this instance, can trigger nasal mucus. Even eating a meal can do it. Proper positioning may help, and "blowing" the nose prior to the boyfriend might also be a good idea.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (9 October 2009):
 Dear Kleenex,
I cant believe this happened to me.....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2009): Excuse me anonymous poster who prejudged me as a non Christian and close minded and jealous and immature is showing her/his immaturity and close mindedness.
No where in this post did the OP sound distraught over this whole situation, she described it in a hilarious manner. I doubt this is even a real post and the OP is dying laughing about now, but what ever....and then you say even Jesus was friends with prostitutes and didn't judge them, what are you calling the OP a prostitute because I sure as heck didn't.
I was making fun at the logic that people use on here about saving themselves for marriage by only having oral sex, it is ridiculous, crazy and downright sad.
Wake up and stop wringing your hands over people who live in self-delusion. Her snot problem is the least of her problems, yes her boyfriend got the wrong idea, go figure. If she can't figure that out on her own, then this relationship doesn't have much of a chance any way...
Makes me think she is a typical young girl who is more concerned about keeping her boyfriend through oral gratification that sticking to her CORE VALUES of saving herself sexually for marriage.
Isn't this a shame that she has been indoctrinated by a culture of idiots to to twist herself into knots and get knocked in the head by a door for all the mental gymnastics she is required to do to be a woman in this day and age.
This is not freedom of choice or liberation for women, it is a differnt kind of slavery, a slavery to put ourselves at a culture that worships sex over God and Jesus, so thanks for bringing the Holy Trinity up in this conversation.
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female
reader, Lola1 +, writes (8 October 2009):
Thanks for the clarification, marriedlady! See how we can learn from healthy debate? (Mutters to herself for not thinking to look it up, too... lol.)
It's unfortunate it occurred in the innocent OP's thread... I'm glad it hasn't detracted from her question.
:-)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): its normal at some angles. Keep the kleenex handy, and tell your guy. Personally i thought it was hilarious! Come on q, tuna? Yuck! Lol and being a teacher... i just checked the dictionary and a virgin is; woman or man who has not had sexual intercourse. Courtesy of Thorndyke and Barnhart advanced dictionary.
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (8 October 2009):
 WELL, ignoring the huge debate here that's UTTERLY off topic of the original question...
Talk to your guy. Tell him. If you wanted to be sexual with him, saving vaginal intercourse for marriage but enjoying oral sex now (which is actually the same as me), you have to clarify this for your boyfriend. He was willing to be utterly celibate for you when asked, then allowed (and enjoyed) a blow job when offered, and attempted to return the favor for you until you bolted for the bathroom visibly agitated. If you leave it as it is, he'll think he moved too fast and pushed too far. You have to tell him that you want mutual oral sex, or he will believe that you want your pants to forever stay on. (And can you blame him for thinking that?)
Talk to the poor guy. He's kicking himself and beating himself up for being so forward even after you said you wanted to wait for sex. He sounds like the kind of guy that feels guilty about reaching for your pants, so unless you tell him otherwise, he won't be trying again.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (8 October 2009):
 "cough"
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): Hey sweeties. Sorry to tell you, but sexual contact with anther person means you are not a virgin. After all, are actively sexual homosexuals considered virgins? No.
But then again you didn't say you were trying to stay a virgin for your future husband you were just keeping other penises out of it until his arrived someday.
Lola1 is correct. The wrong head angle (no pun intended) can cause your sinuses to empty during a blow job. It has happened to me, especially during allergy season. It's normal. Go tell your guy your funny story. I bet he will laugh his ass of and you'll get a little oral yourself. You'll be glad you did! Wait till he goes down on you, you'll thank me!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): Do not listen to the first poster. Please.
Yours is a completely logical question and I think the first person's comments are very rude, demeaning, and totally insensitive. It's obvious that you're taking this matter very seriously or you wouldn't be so concerned or shaken up about it, and at least you're trying to save sex for marriage. Saying you should "keep watching those pornos" and alluding to personal sex tapes are just downright nasty things to say. No one has a right to assume anything about your life or what kind of person you are. Please don't listen to comments like these - the people who make them are probably either jealous or so close-minded that they can't comprehend someone with a different viewpoint, lifestyle, or circumstances than their own and therefore result to insults and degradation, the mark of immaturity. And if you want to pull the religious purity card, even Jesus, while being totally celibate, was friends with prostitutes and didn't disrespect people for their sex lives. Though he may not have agreed with their actions, at least he didn't resort to low blows and childish insults (I'm not saying you're a hooker honey haha... I'm just saying that maybe people like the first poster have something to gain by realizing that their own beliefs of sexual purity shouldn't give them license to put down others who aren't like-minded. In my opinion you don't even need to believe in Jesus to see the wisdom in that ha).
I personally waited til marriage to engage in any sexual activity simply because that's what I felt was right for me, and it's what I was comfortable with; but I understand this isn't practical for everyone and I don't think that people in my position, who don't have sexual contact outside of marriage, should dare condescend to others who DO engage in sexual activities, or assume that somehow sexual contact outside of marriage makes someone slutty or loose.
You sound like a nice and totally sane girl and the fact that you're even concerned enough to ask this question shows that you have a good heart and are clearly trying to be considerate about your boyfriend's feelings as well as the status of your relationship as a whole.
With that said, I would definitely tell your boyfriend what happened. He will be much more relieved to hear that your nose was just gushing snot than to feel like he somehow hurt you (if he's a good boyfriend - which, from the sound of his text, it sounds like he is). Runny noses during blowjobs are quite common - the same thing happened to me when I first started giving them to my husband. Your nose is really closely linked to your mouth and throat (obviously) so if you don't have your breathing down it can cause some problems for your nose. Just take your time next time and don't rush things, give yourself a chance to get used to it. This was your first time, after all. You'll get the hang of it eventually honey, trust me.
Definitely tell your boyfriend what happened though. It may seem embarrassing, but if he really likes you, he won't mind, and he'll be relieved to know that you aren't upset with his advances. Besides, if you want things to progress sexually then this event - as he understands it at the moment - is probably sending a big signal in the opposite direction. Trust me, this kind of thing isn't as awkward as you might think. He'll be relieved to know the truth. Good luck honey!
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A
female
reader, Lola1 +, writes (8 October 2009):
LOL Q! ;-) I don't know that this question IS about and for women, so feel free to add your input. Should she discuss it with her boyfriend?
I love debates; one can learn so much. However, this is probably not an appropriate forum to continue the debate of purity, virginity and what some may consider half-measures in that regard, but I certainly welcome people's differing input.
OP? Your question is not stupid and I hope you still feel free to ask questions without feeling judged or even "dirty". Preserving vaginal purity (if this is the right term) is a beautiful gift for a future husband.
Rhythmandblues2 makes a good point about STDs. It IS true that certain STDs may be shared anytime fluids are exchanged, regardless of the method, which is why contraception and education is still important.
Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): I guess if you want to save that cherry for your husband because you want him to think you are a virgin, then go ahead and trick yourself into believing that, but whoops too late, you're not.
So get on the pill and enjoy the whole enchilada, you are well on your way to that any way.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): You can get STD's from oral sex, sex is sex, whether you do it anally, orally or vaginally.
Doesn't matter that you aren't an intern and he is not the president. You are no longer a sexual virgin. Your hymen is still in place but that is not what defines virginity.
I didn't have a hymen when I first had vaginal sex, does that make me a non virgin of course not, and oral sex came later in my romantic relationship. I almost think Oral sex is more close up and personal than regular penetrative sex. That is what I mean by what a crazy, sad world we live in. People play all sorts of mental gymnastics with themselves instead of being honest and realizing they are having intimate relations, sexual relations with a partner, the fact that his penis is not in your vagina does not mean you aren't having sex.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): Sorry honey, I agree with rythmmethod2 above. The minute you put his johnson in your mouth you had sex with him. So much for saving yourself for marriage.As a guy, I find this story hysterical! I mean stuffed nose, shot in the eye, mucus all over the place. LOL! You sound like a hot date! Just kidding, sorry...Yes, my g/f gets the same way when she gives head. Her nose runs like a faucet. I have no idea why. I had another g/f years ago that got all sniffly after giving head. I would say you are not unusual at all. I bet it happens to a lot of girls.Just explain what happened to your b/f. He will probably laugh his ass off. Oh man "partial vision loss" too? Pretty freakin' hilarious. If he doesn't find the humor in this then he is a stick in the mud. Just muster the courage and speak openly with him. Sex is not dirty, it's how your catholic parents got you here. Just overcome your hang ups and enjoy life.
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female
reader, Lola1 +, writes (8 October 2009):
If you're crazy, so are most of us and since you have no other real-life oral sex experience to draw from, this is NOT a stupid question.
You can give a thousand blow jobs and still be a virgin. Since you aren't an intern and he isn't the President of the United States cheating on his wife, there is nothing wrong with oral satisfaction. But you already know that.
My nose can sometimes get stuffed up when I give my boyfriend oral sex. With practice, you will learn proper ways to breathe and that it is ok to take your mouth off for a second or two so you can take control of your nose.
I recommend you try giving him oral while he sits on a chair and you kneel on the floor. When your face isn't working "nose-down", gravity (in your nose) will be your friend and not a humiliating adversary.
You should absolutely speak to your boyfriend about this. He sounds like an understanding guy who will appreciate knowing he did nothing to hurt and offend you. Together, you can work to improve your sexual and emotional intimacy through communication.
Enjoy and good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): OMG, is this a real question? Who cares what is normal, it happens to you, so it is normal for you.
And by the way, too late to save yourself for marriage, you are already having sex, thanks to Bill Clinton, people now think that swapping bodily fluids orally with sex organs in your mouths is somehow not sex.
Keep watching those pornos, you'll figure it out.
Good luck, sounds like you are having fun, next you'll be taping yourselves and putting it on the internet all while saving yourself for marriage.
This is one crazy, sad sad world we live in.
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