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female
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anonymous
writes: I met my boyfriend in late Jan through a mutual friend of ours. And while I wasn't attracted to him at first (I'd just gotten out of a relationship and he had a grilfriend) we continued to hang out and see each other because of our our shared social interested over the next few weeks. He eventually broke up with his girlfriend and we've been together--every single day--since then. I can say that we are both very happy with ourselves and each other. We have fun, we go out, we have great friends and have a very leo-sagitarrius relationship. If we're not at my house listening to new music or shopping for new sneaks online, we're at his house cooking or watching movies.About six weeks ago, we stopped having sex. I've never been much of an intitiator, besides, I want him to want to have sex with me, not MAKE him have sex with me. He's still very affectionate with me at home and in public and when I brought his attention to how long it had been since we'd had sex, he says its because he's tired. I dropped the issue cuz I didn't wanna be a nag and so I don't quite know what to do now. Is it possible that I'm making a bigger deal out this than it needs to be? Without physical intimacy, I'm afraid our relationship is moving back towards the friend zone. I have no question that he "likes" to me, but could he no longer be sexually attracted to me? And if this is the case, what are we doing with each other? Is a relationship a relationship without sex?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni was getting all down in the dumps cuz even though we are still inseparable and we touch and cuddle, i was thinking about how we don't even really kiss anymore. So i finally talked to him about it. he told me that he thought we had something deeper than that. so i can respect that. i guess we're perfecting our intimacy as friends before we continue/begin intimacy as romantics.
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female
reader, kirstylouise  +, writes (2 August 2006):
Hi i think the only thing you can do is talk to him about it - if its because he doesn't fancy you or because he wants time out then that needs to be addressed. However for some guys if their sex drive goes down slightly it can become very nerve-racking to then build up the confidence to start being intemate again. Tell him that if its for some other reason other than he doesn't want to then its something you can both work through together.
Does he still enjoy cuddling and kissing?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2006): Sorry, off topic there Ms. Anon, but I just realized that Harshbutfair is sexless. 8]
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A
male
reader, harshbutfair +, writes (29 July 2006):
 In a word... No. It's not ok. A relationship without sex, when you're young and healthy won't last. One or other partner will stray. One or other partner will become bitter. Or or other partner will turn to the Internet for their sexual needs.
Without sex, you're not lovers, you're just "posh friends".
It sounds to me like your man isn't a "sex person". It sounds like you are. You need to hook up with a sex person.
Good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2006): It's possible to have an intimate relationship without sex. If it's emotionally fulfilling and stuff, then great. Otherwise, if it has a negative effect on one and/or both of you, then this has to be addressed through open communication.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionso, i did do a search for "sexless relationships" on different sites and find that my situation tends to be unique because a) its the man with the low sex drive, b) our relationship is so young, and c) we're not married. I uncovered a few other questions on the same topic he, but these relationships go sexless after at least a year. and often because of children. Ultimately, I don't know if I should be alarmed or not. I just can't think of any reason why my boyfriend has lost interest in sex.
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