| A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Is a man-women relationship always about sex? If not, why at every other time I try to get to know a girl closely do they pressurize me to enter into something sexual? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, JulietteElise  +, writes (16 March 2007):
 Perhaps these females don't have the right impression from the very beggining that all you want is friendship? Or perhaps you are seeking out girls who for whatever reason don't ussualy have guys intrested in them, havent dated yet, or your their first male friend. I just want to assure you that it IS possable for males and females to be friends, and very good and close friends at that, without the whole sexual thing getting in the way. I am a female, and all my life most of my friends have been male. Though some of the males did befriend me with the hopes of dateing me, most were just fine with haveing me as a friend. One of the males has many female friends, and though i'm not too sure how many of these females may want more from him, i know that he is fine with haveing them as friends only... though i suppose if he found one of them particualry attrative he would possably date her. However, even physical attration isnt everything, for i am still very good friends with my ex-boyfriends. sooo... point being, it is possable for males and females to be just friends. This does become more complicated if one of them is extremly attracted to the other, or if they thought the friendship wasn't just for mere friendship from the very start.so, next time try explaining to them that you are only looking for a friend, that the friendship isnt a prelude to dateing. If these girls are merely looking for sex however, perhaps it is because they know you are single (i presume you are since if you had a g/f you would just use that as your reason for not being with them), and that they are comfertable with you and find you attractive and figure some "no strings attached" sex would be ideal and okay.... just explain to them this is not how you like things to be done, and even though you are extremly flatterd that you either don't see them that way, or that you only want sex withen a long term relationship.
A
female
reader, maruechant  +, writes (16 March 2007):
 I have male friends who talk about themselves being the ones who get agressive first. Now, your case is different because girls make the first move. Interesting. Now let me say something about the importance of sexual intercourse in a relationship. Its importance depends on a case to case basis meaning sex may not be necessary at all times. Let me put it this way: For singles, they can say "no" whenever they dont want to engage in such thing. On the other hand, husband needs to submit himself to his wife and vice versa as sex is something sacred and acceptable as it happens, a symbol of union and oneness in marriage.
For you who seems to be single and dating, then sex, of course need not to be performed. And if girls do ask you for it, you MUST learn how to respond the right way so as not to be pressurized. It's like someone is giving you a chocolate cake but your stomach is full already and so you'll say, "No thanks." Be direct and polite at the same time. If you will give them the impression that you are not sure you want sex or not, they will keep on enticing you and the more you will be pressured.
...............................
|
