A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, I'm 25 and although I've always thought I want to get married someday, I'm starting to wonder if ANYONE ever stays truly happily married. Almost everyone I know has been cheated on or cheated on their significant other. The way I look at it, as a girl I'm going to eventually get older, obviously. The thing is, guys often look better as they age and women start to lose their looks...why WOULDN'T the guy I marry eventually get tired of banging the same chick for 30 years? Why WOULDN'T he want to hook up with some hot, young, fresh girl that's interested in the sophisticated handsome richer older man? When I'm 55 how am I possibly going to be able to compete if some 20 yr old chick decides she has a crush on my husband? I'm not a shallow person, I know love is so much more than looks or youth but I also know those are a part of it. Somebody help me with my questions:(
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011): I like your post and I feel the same way, except I am 38, although I look pretty good and younger guys do hit on me! The youngest was 22. but they are just after sex!
Hmmm, it's an interesting point and I have to agree with you. My bf gets bored easily and he always looks at younger girls. Does it mean he will be unfaithful? Maybe, maybe not. You just cannot predict that stuff and I am certianly not going to end my r'ship with him in case it MIGHT happen!
You have to live life for the day. I think that most guys if they are honest would LOVE to screw hot girls in their 20s and younger too probably. It's true. BUT, that does not necessarily mean it will happen. I mean, you cant run your life on 'what ifs' can you??
Maybe try to think about something more productive and tell yourself you are still going to be a hottie even when you are an oldie!! We dont all have to start wearing beige once we hit 50 y'know!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011): I really feel that these things are best discussed quite openly (but not continually) when you find someone and you both want to marry or consider the possibility.
That way you can build the trust right in to the relationship as you find out what he thinks about age gaps and infidelity.
Most guys probably dont really want the hassle or the shallowness of a tinsel town type of life, even if they appreciate beauty.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011):
Yes, it is possible. The key is that both partners have to want it enough to work at it. Yes, it is work. I say this as someone who has been with my wife for 18 years. It isn't always as fun as it was when we were young and in lust, but it is much more satisfying. When I look at my wife with her gray hairs and slightly droopy butt I see the hot young woman I married aging to perfection. What could a 20 year old offer me? A good time in bed? Probably. A boost in self-confidence? Definitely. What else? The relationship I have would be difficult to replace. I am sure there are (a very few) 20 year old women out there who could be everything I always wanted, but I doubt they'd want an old guy like me anyway. Any woman that would date a man so much older then she is has issues. Even if the perfect girl did want me, I'll take the known quantity that is my wife and the experiences we shared and the life we built. My wife to me, is a classic Porsche and the young ladies out there showing too much skin are brand new Miatas.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (9 June 2011):
 Look around you - aren't there old, happily married couples at ALL in your circle of acquaintances?
My parents have been married for just over thirty years and do seem to be very much in love. Certainly they are both at a very happy place in their lives. To be fair, I've sort of hit the genetic jackpot, both my parents look a lot younger than they are and haven't had to face financial stress of troublesome children, which are some of the things, apart from sex, that can drive a married couple apart.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (9 June 2011):
 It's true that the new days in a relationship generally have a pretty strong focus on the physical stuff. It takes a lot less than 30 years for that to die down.
A successful marriage is about building a life together. It's about having each others' back. It's about having someone with whom you're perfectly comfortable.
I can see a 20 year-old girl and appreciate how she looks, since that's around the age that women are flawless. But I don't want to spend time with her -- I've been there, done that, and want to spend my time with people who have lived and learned. I suppose it might be possible to use the self-assurance (and the cash) I've earned over the years to seduce some pretty young thing, but the thought doesn't appeal to me. I have a daughter that age, which helps underscore why it's just wrong.
I'm into a particular MILF, and she's still all I need.
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