A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Do you think a lie at the beginning of a friendship is just as bad and damaging as a lie at the beginning?of a romantic relationship?We've been talking and hanging out for only a few months. I started lying to a friend before I knew her, liked her as a friend because I didn't know her or who she was, and before I trusted her. I kind of lied and was dishonest about who I am. I'm scared she won't like me or talk to me anymore and want to be my friend after she finds out I mislead and deceived her Reply to this Question
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female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (21 June 2011):
 Actually I've known guys like you. And when they eventually came clean I was flattered that they thought they had to be something more to impress me. Some I was naive on, good actors, others I was on to the smoke up my butt. But it is best to put less on the table and add to it than make a dinner made of plastic food. In the end it wasn't the lies it was the fact that these guys couldn't stand up to their false selves. Making it difficult to understand why they had to go there in the first place, thus making them look somewhat psycho. How to make it go away, don't go there in the first place. How to fix it when you do, be honest about it and let her know you wanted to be the best for her and then show her that your ok being the who you are. Hopefully she fell for the who you are in the first place. On the other hand if she was looking for a Mr.Dr or Mr.Lawyer, she's looking to be kept not encouraged.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 June 2011):
 Lies between friends can be sorted out in time, the only thing being that the friendship will be decreased, set at another level. You might not talk as often for a while, and you'll need to work your way back up to friendship, and it can take a long time before you ever, if at all, get close and personal. A relationship is a deeper connection than friendship, like a deeper level. If you lie there, the relationship is off and you bounce back to the same level as if you lied to a friend. It would be near impossible to work you way back to the level of partner. Easier to work your way back to the level of friend.
Some friends are distant friends, some are close. A distand friend doesn't care if you tell a lie here or there as you don't mean much to them. If you want to be a closer friend you need to be honest.
Better be honest now and hope for the best. If you weren't already very close, but more distant, it might not matter much, and you can still work on fixing the damage and become better friends.
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A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo  +, writes (20 June 2011):
 A lie is a lie no matter when or who you tell it to.
The best thing you can do is tell her what you lied about and also why you lied and make sure she knows how sorry you are and that you would not repeat the mistake again.
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A
female
reader, oneball  +, writes (20 June 2011):
i tink it is much better if you tell her everything in a manner that she will understand you and ask for an apology. the way to start a relationship is truthfulness
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (20 June 2011):
 HI
A lie is a lie no matter what relationship it is , friend,lovers,family. The only thing you can do is sit her down and explain why you felt the need to lie in the begining, maybe you felt she wouldn't like you as much if she knew the real you, so fabricated a little to sound more exciting? If she likes you as a friend maybe she will understand. But she may also need a little space after you tell her. But for you to feel better about yourself you have to tell her the truth and agree no more lies EVER! xx
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