A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've met a guy who told me that he has genital herpes. He takes Valtrex, and hasn't had an outbreak in two years. I do like him but don't know if taking a risk to have sex with him would be worth it. He says he has only gotten outbreaks on his actual penis. He has had long term relationships and has never gave any of his ex g/fs the virus. I'm 20 and he is 40.. he has had it for 20 years...Is a condom enough to help keep me from getting the virus if he is not having an outbreak and has always just gotten the blisters on his penis and no where else?Thanks!
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condom, herpes, his ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, supermum  +, writes (27 January 2010):
 To the person who was to embarrased to state their name. Asyptomatic shedding carries about 0.001% of the virus on a piece of skin 1 inch squared. Which means, it is EXTREMELY unlikely that you will catch anything during periods where the sores are not visible. I would suggest that you are fully aware of the facts before you leave messages you dont understand
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2010): @supermumFrom the excerpt that you posted:"Transmission may also occur through skin-to-skin contact during periods of asymptomatic shedding"A few sentences later:"However, after several years, some people will become perpetually asymptomatic and will no longer experience outbreaks, though they may still be contagious to others."From the website referenced earlier, http://www.herpesonline.org/herpes_transmission.html :"A person with herpes does not have to have an actual outbreak to actually promote genital herpes transmission."Simply stated, just because there are no sores visible doesn't mean you cannot spread the disease. This is common medical fact. Remember OP this decision also is going to affect all possible future relationships you have as well; so just make sure you have a well ground decision in fact. Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, supermum +, writes (13 January 2010):
to the person who thinks herpes can be spread even when sores are not visible, please refer to this reference from wikipedia
Herpes simplex is most easily transmitted by direct contact with a lesion. Transmission may also occur through skin-to-skin contact during periods of asymptomatic shedding
I have herpes, so i am fully aware of when it can spread and when it cant. The past 3 partners i have had have been aware of this, and all had sex with me when i was not having an out brake (of which i have only ever had 3). None of them have caught the virus. Do be serious, you have no idea what you are chatting about
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone!
I have been doing a lot of research.
I don't know if I am willing to risk it. It would never go away and I would just be devastated if I caught it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010): Good for him for explaining his condition to you. That couldnt have been easy! Go and seek proper medical advise before you start doing anything with him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010): HERPES CAN BE SPREAD EVEN IF THERE ARE NO SORES PRESENT.I repeat: THEY CAN BE SPREAD WHEN NO SORES ARE PRESENT.To the questioner, I suggest you go here and browse the site: http://www.herpesonline.org/precautions.htmlReally, you should should go to professional websites like webmd.com or ask an actual doctor rather than asking the people here as there is a huge amount of misinformation out there (as evidenced in this thread).
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A
female
reader, supermum +, writes (5 January 2010):
You only catch herpes if there are still sores visible, so if he does have an outbrake, you stay away until its gone. You said he takes Valtrex. I hope you mean he takes it if he has an outbrake and not all the time...?
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (5 January 2010):
 Yes, with the understanding that condoms don't go all the way down. So if he has blisters on the part that ain't covered that is still an additional risk (although it is a lot of work for a virus to cross that way rather then via sperm).
You might want to use a female condom, as they cover more skin area.
Oh and no blowjobs, wash your hands etc etc. Romantic isn't it?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): Yes. There may be a tiny risk associated, but I mean tiny. Probably less than the risk of getting knocked down by a bus tomorrow. Actually, probably less than the risk of getting knocked down by three buses tomorrow.
The risk is only a small one without using a condom as it would have to be directly before or during an outbreak.
But tell him about AG 707, search for that on google, and cheer him up!
But as for the 20 year gap. I'd be more worried about that. Seriously..
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (5 January 2010):
My husband who's a medic says yes you are safe if you use condoms.
But it's up to you. It's a risk you have to be fully willing to take.
Only do what you're comfortable with.
Good Luck!! xx
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