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age
51-59,
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writes: When is it safe to bring up marriage? We've been dating 7 months, and we are in love. He treats me like I've never been before, and the signs are all there. He is younger than I am and has never been married. I have been married before but this is not a concern for him. When we first got together, I told him I am looking for a marriage partner ultimately. He said he is not ready at this time but desires to be married as his ultimate goal. He has had bad relationship experiences in the past.Fast forward 7 months, and he shows his love for me every day in so many ways. I have fallen and am at the point I want to know if he's even thinking about marriage with me. On his part, there has been little things that point in that direction; for eg. , always using "we" and "us". Also, talking about things we will do next year differently, but of course this is not the word "marriage". I am nervous about bringing this up, but I feel I'm in so deep I need to know where his head is at.People have said that the reason he has not been ready for marriage is because he has not found the right person. He acts like I'm the one. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2009): I am with you Leann, I think living together is a bit of a cop out, I don't like the idea of a trial run for marriage, it tells me that person is not at all ready to commit, so why would you change your life and give up all your independence for a luke warm maybe.
So focus on what you want you deserve it all!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou guys (and ladies) are the best! All good answers! Thank you all so much. It's hard because I feel like I truly know what love is now with him. I am almost 40 and feel like I'm experiencing it for the first time. It's great and I do believe that I know he is the one. So now it is just finding an opportunity to mention something to him or ask how he feels right now. Peanut Butter: I like the idea of mentioning it casually. And of course love those stories where people married within a few months to 6 months and are still happy! : )I knew my ex-husband 3 yrs before we married and we divorced 8 yrs later. So is there really a perfect #? I'm not so sure. I am enjoying the ride, but I do think there is something to be said for starting your life together in a marital relationship. We both don't believe in living together first.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2009): If you really need to know where his head is at, then you must ask him, he is the only one who knows.
Instead of just blurting out marriage, start by asking him what he thinks of you, then ask him how he feels about you and that will tell you alot.
If he thinks you are the one then he is not even thinking about marriage until he is the one who steps up and claims you as the ONE, until then you two are simply dating and 7 months is not that long to know someone.
Sometimes it works out with people who get serious quickly, but I think more often than not it doesn't due to alot of projection and love goggles.
Personally, I think it takes around a year and a half to really learn someone's true character, and you see a lot of relationship breaks up around this mark, because one or both get realistic and see whether or not this person is someone you could live with forever.
But nothing is written in stone or there is no magic formula for this stuff, everyone is different and some of us are luckier than others in finding the right person for us.
Sounds good so far so relax and enjoy the ride...would be my motto....but then I would be in no hurry to get married, I don't want babies.
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reader, PeanutButter  +, writes (4 November 2009):
 I met and married my husband within a few months! He asked, I said yes. It works for us, we're still going strong years later but it doesn't always work for everyone. The saying; "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" comes to mind - you're happy right now, you're in a great place and you guys are having fun and seeming to have a wonderful relationship, which you don't need to push towards marriage. If he wants to marry you, he will eventually ask you, but if he had doubts in the beginning then you need to let him be the one that starts to talk about marriage with you as you might frighten him if you bring it up now, what with him already knowing your ultimate ideal was to marry. He might start to feel pressured and it might sour - on the other hand, he might be as ready as you and might be considering it, but it is your call to make as to whether you mention it or not. If you do, you shouldn't make it a serious conversation, maybe mention it in passing, see what reaction you get. I hope this is it for you, I wish you lots of luck xxx
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (4 November 2009):
 Of course there is nothing carve in stone about this. I do think that 7 months is still on the early side so if I were in your shoes I'd just relax for a while and enjoy the ride.
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