A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Is it ever okay to return to a relationship -in my case that happened 23 years ago- and try again? "John" and I were going steady (in our relationship) till his band went on the road. Well, true to most musicians...he cheated. I found out and left our home the next day. We didn't speak for years and we both went on with our lives. Over the past 7 years, we have been talking and he admitted to his mistake and why he did it. *Big points in my book* I forgave him and our friendship bloomed, but it has bloomed into the "old us". He says he loves me, that I've always been his perfect match, and he wishes with his life to go back and do right by me. Of course all of this has caused me to fall in love again with him.....but is it possible to go back without all the hang-ups of the past? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 March 2013):
 are either of you committed to other partners?
are you now in a location where you can be together full time?
if you are both free and clear to be in a relationship and you can be together in person most of the time, GO FOR IT.
A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (27 March 2013):
 Hi go for it, nothing ventured nothing gained. You both are mature and hopefully history will not repeat itself.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (27 March 2013):
 I think 23 years is long enough to know for certain that both of you have changed as people, so if the feelings are still there then go for it.
Presumably 23 years ago (if he is the same age as you) then he was 18-27, so he was young and dumb, most men are at that age! I dont think you find many men in that age range ready to settle down, especially a musician out on the road with girls throwing themselves at him.
In fact it may almost be a good thing - he got that out of his system, he's had his fun and now you have found each other again - he wont want to make the same mistake twice.
As long as you are ready to let go of the past, forgive his mistake and start looking to the future, then I definitely think this can work. It is pretty amazing that you still feel the same about each other after all these years, I think that says a lot - not many people find that one true love and it sounds like you two were meant to be.
Ok so you had a bump in the road, but that gave you both a chance to grow up, live your lives and now you have another chance at being happy together. Let go of this past, and just enjoy the future - it sounds like you have a wonderful thing here, so take a chance and see what happens. We could all spend our lives living in fear because of the past, but then no-one would ever be happy. Give him a chance to show you how much he has changed and give him a chance to make you happy.
Good luck!
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