A
female
age
,
*hereislove
writes:I corresponded with someone I met online almost everyday for about three weeks. We live less than two hours away from one another. He asked to call me about a month ago. We have talked on the phone 4 times. He knows my schedule and the weekends I'm free. During our second phone conversation we made plans to meet this past weekend. He called on Thursday night and I felt acted like he was clueless as to our plans. Again reported off as to we'll talk and arrange the where and when for two weeks from now. I emailed him the next day and pretty much said what is up with you, you call and email me basically if you wanted to meet we would meet, not a lifetime commitment here. Anyway gives me something like I am interested just have worked 21 days straight, house hunting on Saturday need a day to rest on Sunday, oh and wants to be well rested and in a good frame of mind when we meet. I pretty much was right up front with my emails saying look just say you know your not ready, not sure, or just plain not interested. It's just the momentum is lost with the waiting around after all the emails and a few short conversations. Am I way off here or what do you think? Was I too honest confronting him this last time. I mean come on if you have your profile on a website your either in the game or not right? Need advice!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2009): One guy emailed me for nine months and then I dragged it out of him that he just wanted to email. I think you are right in trying to find out what is going on; I should have done it sooner but was trying to be understanding!
A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (27 July 2009):
 Let him go. Find someone else.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009): I think you are right to want to know where you stand, and to want answers as to what is going on.
I actually find this is a very common theme regarding meeting people on the internet. It has happened to me loads of times. You get to know someone, get closer to them, you think it is all going well...and then they suddenly get all distant, or disappear completely.
So this isn't just happening to you. It probably isn't peronal. Maybe he just likes the idea of getting to know people, but doesn't want to make it into a reality. Maybe he doesn't want any sort of commitment. I know you have told him you will only be meeting, no big deal, but actually meeting someone for real does change things.
I would advise just leaving him for a while now, and see if he contacts you. I think you have laid your cards on the table, so to speak, and the rest lies on him to tell you what he wants. I know it must be really frustrating to have to wait for him to give you some kind of answer. But he might just need a bit of time to think things through. If he still doesn't seem as interested though, won't give you a straight answer, or doesn't seem to want to know, then I wouldn't wait around for him.
Like I said though, try not to take this personally. It has happened to me several times now, I think it is just the risk of getting to know people over the internet. Good luck. x
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