A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i've been in an FWB relationship with a guy for four months. we first dated but then he deicded he didn't want a real relationship, so i agreed on friends with benefits so i could keep him around. every time we're together, we spend the night at each other's place. we get together about once a week, and every time we have sex that night and then in the morning. so the other morning, he decided to get ready for work rather than have our morning ritual, and i got angry with him. i was very cold to him because i felt that this was unusual, that in 4 months he chose to forgo morning sex, the best sex of all, and it made me wonder if he was losing interest..so, do you think i should have any right to be annoyed? i'm not sure if he deserved it because i feel even more used than ever, or if i was overreacting. i don't want to lose him, so i'll do what it takes!
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2009): i have really painful experience with FWB.. but i believe you are better than that... so what if he go... there are other guys... and you better get out of that fast... guy like that? don't hope too much such 'he will eventually fall for me...' i've thought of that and never happen.... in fact, i later realized that he never did take as a friend... he just used me... that's all... and when i got angry at him... he would call me names and every rude things you can possibly imagine... and so... you'll end up getting hurt... you might wanna think bout this whole BFW thing again... it barely ends well...
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (24 April 2009):
So you are in a relationship where you are JUST FRIENDS with ocasional sex - basically using eachother for sex when you are both in the mood.
(you want more but you are too desperate to have him around to say you don't like being used for sex.)
And then because he wanted the friends part in the morning and wasn't in the mood, you are getting mad at him?
To be honest, if I am in the mood and my partner isn't it can be a little annoying but I don't take it out on him because I am SURE there are times when you are not in the mood too.
All you've done is made him see that he is right not to be in a relationship with you as you'll be moody when you don't get your own way. You've pushed him further away.
Friends with Benefits ONLY works when you are JUST FRIENDS. If you want him as a boyfriend then you are going to get hurt. He's made it clear he doesn't want to be with you so find a man that does rather than go through constant little rejections like this. It will cause you more pain in the long run if you carry on, because at some point he's going to meet a girl he DOES want to be with and drop you like a hot potato.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2009): these "FWB's" always end badly. It is pretty much the case that you are hoping he will change his mind. It might have been worth a shot at first, but after 4 months i'd say the time is up. If you really only want the sex then the only thing that should bother you is that you didnt get your piece of ars that morning. But you are worried he is losing interest and you don't want to lose him? Well, you don't have him now. So either be happy or move on at this point.
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