A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm so confused! I am in love with one man, and falling in love with another. I don't know how to choose! One is my ex.. we had a falling out and didn't talk for 2 months. During that time I met this amazing guy who I have the best time with. I think I'm falling for him. My ex has been contacting me often this past month and wants to get back together. He lives 5 states away. He wanted me to come see him. After long consideration, I decided I needed to see him to help me figure out what I wanted to do. Did it help? NO! It only confused me more. These guys are total opposites. My ex is quiet, reserved and not very social. But he is absolutely in love with me and my two children. I know he would be the "safe" choice because I trust he would never do a thing to hurt me. He is very caring, considerate, knows me inside and out, probly better than I know myself.. but..I'm not sure I am completely into him sexually..or atleast not as much as I am into my current boyfriend. The thought of uprooting and moving so far away is also a major consideration. My children are very close to their father. But I really like the thought of moving away and starting new. I've always dreamed of moving away. The other thing is that I did cheat on this man back in January. We hadn't had sex, and I got drunk and cheated on him. Horrible thing, I know..it absolutely killed him. His family hates me, understandably..but he and I both fear that if I decide to move to be with him, his family might disown him. (they're italian, need I say more?) This other man, my current boyfriend..I think great things can happen. I think of him often too. He is social and outgoing like I am. We have a lot of fun together. The way we are in the bedroom is amazing, I've never been so open and comfortable with another person, ever. We've been together for four months now. I can see us together for a very long time. I know that in time I can get to the point of comfort as I have with my ex. I feel like this relationship is untainted (since I cheated on my ex) and maybe I should go this direction so that I am moving forward in life and not backwards. But would choosing my ex be taking a step back? I'm so confused, I just don't know what to do. My friends say to follow my heart.. but it's not giving me any guidance. Its also in the back of my mind that if I let go of my ex..he will be destroyed and I will feel horrible. I know I do love this man. I know I need to make a decision soon because I know I am not doing the right thing right now with being involved with both of them. I just dont know what to do or how to decide..and insight would be so appreciated!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): I'll say this and this only: your ex is your ex for a reason. If whatever drove you apart in the first place hasn't changed, don't let nostalgia convince you to give things another shot, as you will only be repeating the original mistake(s). If, on the other hand, whatever was originally a problem between you is now resolved...follow your heart, and don't look back. Good luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2008): hi
im with this guy and he is in the same position. He says he loves me but he likes his ex aswell. i dnt knw wht 2 do either. do i be with him even though he may fall bk in love with his ex? he feels exactly the way you do. But we're the victims. Im makin it sound dramatic, sorry. But hes confused too. he doesnt knw who 2 b with. he tells me and convices that its me. but his mind changes so quickly. i dnt wnt to be in a position where he then says that its not me. and i was a mistake. because thats just leading me on. all im sayin is that its not ur fault. and you cant help the way you feel.
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