A
female
age
30-35,
*ovingwoman10
writes:ok so im getting really annoyed cuz my post keeps getting rejected for some reason but hopefully this one goes through. I fell head over heels for my science teacher in 8th grade. He's about thirteen yrs older than me and I'm now a junior in high school. Within these last 3 yrs I've been a totally different person. I've lost my drive to want to be happy, can't find a boyfriend, and I miss him! I think about him day and night of everyday and it's frustrating cuz I try to move on but I can't. Freshman yr I went to a party with this woman that told ppl's future (i dont know how to spell it lol) and she told me that i'd meet my true love inm december of that yr. When i told my older sis she was like" what?! true love at fifteen?" I was excited thinking I'd finally find a bf or get my first kiss. Sure enough on dec. 1st I saw my former science teacher. I'm not one to believe on superstition and stuff like that but it was a little weird. What if he's my soul mate? anyway so after that I continued to see him in different school events then recently I saw him at aother school event. He was either embarassed or shy to say hello to me. He finally said hi and we talked briefly not much conversation. During an assembly the same day I was sitting in a row of seats alone and he was across from me sitting with other teachers. At the end of the assembly, I got up and could see from my side view that he was staring at me. I was used to it cuz that was what he always did in 8th grade. He would compliment my outfits and admire my academic achievement. He wasn't my fav teacher at the time but he was someone I was attracted to and started to love in a way. I knew it was more than attraction when I came to high school becuz it felt like i was missing something or a part of myself.I was hoping that when I saw him this yr there would be closure to our infatuation for each other but there wasn't instead it was more of a tease to me. like "here's just something you can't have". Knowing that i was standing right by him, he was talking to another former student about his past relationships and said he wasn't married yet cuz the student had asked. he said "nope, not yet" and when she asked him about his past gf he said "which one". it sort of stung a little becuz here was someone i really liked and he moved on and wants to get married. it's sad cuz im still young and want him! i dont want him to get married! thank good he isn't yet but i know when or if he does I'll lose him for good. I get a feeling like i need him and like hes the one.I've always been mature for my age and nxt yr Iwill be 18 and i think in a sense thats what drew me to him. When he looks at me at times it's like hes drawn in and satisfied. I'm just so lost and need to tell him but i would never until after i graduate and were legal. But the thing is idk his feelings? I just know i love him. Everytime we see each other nothing happens, its just awkward exciting and not enough all at the same time, like a sugar rush. Sometimes I think its fate that brings us together and other times I feel unfortunate cuz I can't have him. Idk what to do? is this my true love? i know i'll see him nxt yr but i dont want to get hurt! i want a chance with him, i wanna know how he feels. i need to be let go of this forbidden love. In in love with a man whos older much more experienced and I want to be with so bad. ahhhhhhhh.....
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2009): I know EXACTLY how you feel because I'm going through the same thing. I actually posted a question about my situation which I think you can relate to.
It's like you don't want anyone else but him, I'm pretty sure you've tried liking other guys and stuff, I know I did, but no one compares to him, or makes you feel the way he makes you feel, and people tell you to forget about him, but how can you forget about someone whose on your mind 24/7. I mean trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met. It's impossible.
I honestly don't think you should tell him unless you know he feels the same way, because it's gonna hurt more that you can't be with him. But then again, it's the silent rejection that hurts the most, so it's up to you. It's good that your waiting till your 18, and it will be easier for you because he is'nt married or anything, but becareful because you might be risking your friendship by telling him.
No one can tell you if it's true love or not. Thats for you and only you to decide. It's the way you feel inside. people are gonna tell you it's not true love, and that there is no way you can be in love with your teacher, but they would'nt know unless they have been in that situation themselves.
Good Luck, and keep me updated on what you decide to do. If you ever want to talk or anything you can message me anytime, and i'll completely understand anything, because as I said, I'm going through the same thing, and I know how it feels.
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