A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am in a serious dilema and I need all the help I can get. My brother in law loves me. I hate to say this but I am so in love with him. He tells me he loves me, he is the best uncle to my kids, he lives with my husband and I and my husband is gone a lot of the time, and when he is home, we either have nothing to say to each other, or we fight. I had a thing for my brother in law before i got married to my husand, and gave up on my brother in law cuz we had too much pride to tell eachother how we felt, and i ended up getting preganat (with my husbands child) and wanted to make things work for my son's sake, and now i feel like ive made such a mistake. I've been having an affair with my brother in law and cant stand to do this any longer cuz i love him so much. I hate to say this, but my husband feels so much like a friend that I cant get myself to even kiss him like i kiss my brother in law, and when my husband touches me I hate it cuz it feels so wrong. And it's felt so wrong even before i started getting involved with my brother in law. What the hell am I supposed to do? There are kids involved and I totally screwed up. It is more than killing me. I'm falling apart. This is more than tearing me apart, it's killing me. Should I call this off with my brother in law and keep living my life a lie for my kids' sake? Or should the truth be told? I cant break my husbands heart, for i love him so much, but as a brother, as a friend, as my childrens father.
View related questions:
affair Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2008): The shit will hit the fan and the best thing, the right thing, to do now is to put your own feeligns out of your mind and do what is best for your children.Not what is best for you. Not what is best for your lover. Or your husband. But your children.Any desires you or your cohorts had is gone. Your lives must now be used to ensure the best possible future for your children.You owe them that after all of this.Flynn 24
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (10 October 2008):
 Yikes what a mess. First you need to completely stop the affair with the brother. Then you need to separate from your husband. Then you need to get a divorce. There is no need to tell your husband that you are in love with his brother but you need to tell him that you no longer want to be more than friends with him (your husband). Once the dust settles, and that may be a while, you can see whether a relationship with the brother is a possibility. If you behave with honor and integrity you will feel much better.
...............................
A
female
reader, josien  +, writes (10 October 2008):
my dear i see your caught up between the two.
you have to think about what might happen when you open up about your feelings for you brother in law, think about the reaction of your husband, your children and family.
since you loved your brother in law even before you married your husband it shows that you were trying to make things work for the both of you. why do you feel you have to give that up.
gather your self and try to learn to love your husband for the good of your family.its hard but plz give it a try
good luck ma dear
...............................
|
