A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey I met a guy 6 months ago, our feelings grew quickly towards each other and we fell in love although we couldn't be together due to us being long distance. We keep in touch and plan to be together next year as intense as this sounds i really had believed i found a soul mate and a best friend in him. That is until a few weeks ago he started working vigorously, he told me he wouldn't be in touch as often which was fine and i understood. He still sends me messages daily but he is away and for the past few weeks i have been talking to his younger brother online. We talk everyday and have even stayed up all night talking. He makes me laugh like no one ever has he also has all the qualities of his older brother but with more zest for life. I also find i am far more attracted to him. I have never met him in person but i feel like i have known him forever, i thought things were great with his brother but things seem to be even more amazing than that. I know from an outside perspective it may seem like i am just trying to replace his brother whilst he is gone but is truly not the case. I have not even tried to attept to get in touch with the man i thought i was in love with a few weeks ago because his brother seems to fit me like a glove. I am sure his younger brother feels the connection too we have even touched upon telling him. I just feel so awful, how my feelings could suddenly change in such a rapid way but i can't help it. I keep thinking it is fate as if it wasn't for him i wouldn't of gotten to know his younger brother. I really don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt him and he keeps asking me what is wrong. I suppose the positive side is that i call neither of the two brothers my boyfriend but i have a different connection with the two of them. I don't want to hurt either of them i also don't want to lose them. How did i get in this mess??
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female
reader, sianybarney  +, writes (24 December 2008):
 Hey, well in this case you have two options.
1. Tell the older brother that you have feelings for his younger brother. However, think about the reprocussions of doing this. Will it cause a feud between the brothers. To be honest the younger brother should of known better then to risk hurting his brothers feelings, even if not intentional he should of ended contact with you. Although he may understand and be happy for you both, talk to the younger brother about going about telling him and whether it will hurt him. You two know him better than we do so only you know wether telling him would be a good idea or not.
2. Break it of with both of them. Probably seems like the most unfair option to you. But if you are worried about how the older brother will react if you tell him, this may be the only way neither of them get hurt anymore.
To be honest they obviously both like you, so either way one or both of them are going to get hurt so i think you should just follow your heart and do what you think is best or what would cause less hurt to them. Dont worry this happens to a Lot of people and is a sticky situation to get out of, so just be honest with them and yourself.
Good luck x
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