A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel like a total emotional wreck. I have two exes, one that I love and the other I really like. I know in the end if I still feel this way about both I'll eventually have to choose. It may sound selfish but I don't want to, I'm young, single and beautiful and I think I should be able to do whatever I like. I just want to make sure the decision I'm making won't hurt me in the long run. So ex number 1 I'm actually inlove with. I want him to be my future, the only problem with that is he still talks to his ex. My ex and his ex girlfriend were an item before I came into the picture. They were planning a future together and they had some issues with cheating, but I think if he still talks to her after all of that then he must really love her. Him and I have a very complicated relationship. I guess because he was my first and I am emotionally connected to him, but I know its more. We are at the stage of the "I love you's" and all that good stuff. My feelings for this guy is actually real. During the two years of us talking on and off, I would sometimes disappear because I felt like I could find better, and that grass is greener on the other side. Although I always came back to the same conclusion that I love him and only him I kept disappearing, throughout the two years I've known him. Now that I look at it from his point of view he might be unsure because I'm always doubting him, but I love him, he's my first love and I want him to be my last love. Now my most recent ex, we were dating for about almost 2 months. He has a child and I respect him for being there for his baby girl. With this guy I have my doubts because I've never met someone so nice, its almost creepy to me. After 2 months of dating he says he loves me, and everything a girl basically wants to hear. The thing is he doesn't show this at all. He's a sex maniac I guess you can say. He might be playing me for all I know, but I actually wanna give this a try. The reason I broke up with him was because I still love my ex and I didn't want to hurt him, and he would let days go by without speaking to me..and then blame it all on me. He came back, and I do wanna get back with him but I don't want him to get me back so easily. So for now we're just friends talking. I know that maybe I should just stop trying with him, but a part of me doesn't. I'm really drawn to this kid. So now..I'm just gonna stay single,play the field but still keep in contact with these two. I'm just not sure how to keep them out of my mind. Any suggestions?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (8 November 2010):
 well just be careful that you dont end up badly hurting one of these guys, i no your afraid that you might get hurt but you also need to think how it is affecting them, if am honest with you i think it would be best if you wrote down all the good points and bad points about both of them and see which one weighs up the most, take a look back and think what one of the fellas made you happier, have you ever heard of the saying 'dont leave the one you love for the one you like, because someday he will leave you for the one he loves'.
I think there is some truth behind that saying if am honest, but it has to be you that makes a choice here between the two of them and the longer you play the field the longer you will prolong your confusion and the more likely you might end up hurt, so i think you need to chose which guy you think is right for you and make things work with him. Good Luck.
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