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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I've recently realised that I am experiencing romantic feelings towards one of my teachers at High School. At first I thought that it was just a crush, and I'd forget all about him and like someone else in a couple of weeks' time. However, things are beginning to get way out of hand. He is always on my mind and I can never stop thinking about him. It's as if everything that happens in my life evolves around him, and it's making me feel even more depressed by the day. I know that this is love, because it is a feeling that I have not yet experienced, and my legs go numb and I can barely talk whenever I see him. I always try to catch his attention in class, and have become a 'nerd' just to get me a bit closer to obtaining it.What kills me inside is that he probably has a gorgeous girlfriend waiting at home for him, and he is probably unable to feel the feelings that I am feeling for him, for anyone else but her (I know that that doesn't quite make sense)! The only thing that gives me hope is the fact that he doesn't wear a wedding ring, but I dread the day that he arrives at school wearing one.This 'love' is beginning to become an obsession, and I am in desperate need of help. I don't care if you're not qualified therapists, just give me a bit of advice, and feel free to share any similar situations, that you are experiencing, with me.Thanks for reading, and please comment =)x x x
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (25 August 2008):
 Hey, thanks for the update! I'm happy to hear that your feelings for the teacher have subsided and that you're no longer obsessing.
You've got approximately 70 years to find love, so I think the odds are good. ;)
Concentrate on school work; I can tell you from experience that the grades will matter when you apply to college, and years from now, when you're doing the job you love because you could pursue your dreams, you'll forget what the name of the guy you were so in love with in 9th grade.
Lecture over, take care and good luck with school!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2008): I'm in exactly the same situation as you and i can't control my feelings for him. I'm 14 and he's 32 which is an 18 year age gap but i just love him. Like you i have never experienced these feelings before and i know it must be love, yet i know NOTHING can ever happen because of these circumstances i just wish he was 18 years younger because he's my dream guy-so what if he's my maths teacher (or used to be i don't have him anymore :() it doesn't matter to me I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! :) I dream about him all the time, i think about him non-stop i just can't get him out of my head and i don't really want to because i LOVE the sight of his face or just the thought of him makes me INCREDIBLY HAPPY :D He's just SO FIT he has beautiful dark brownn eyes that i could stare into all day and gorgeous spikey black hair and if his body's half as nice as his face well..PHWAOR I would ;) and then his personality he's got such a great personality very quick witted you know comes back woth very quick come-backs to the bad lads comments towards him and he's really clevber he must have to be to be a maths teacher but when he's standing there up at the board it's just like wtf!?! i have no idea what he's twittering on about so i occupy myself by gazing into his beautiful eyes and then he's really funny and humourous a great laugh-most teachers can't even take a joke, he's a bit stressy sometimes though when the bad lads play up and mess around but it gets me slightky turned on sometimes lol :P He's just this amazing man who I'M IN LOVE WITH-it's just so unfair that he's not my age but having said that i do rather like the fact that he's quite a bit older than me it draws me to him more and makes me think he's sexy ;)-well he is i think,tbh i think i'm the only girl in the whole school that likes him in that way he's not the sort of teacher that all the girls fancy and think he's really fit but he's my sort of teacher. I know this probaly hasn't helped you at all so i apologise for that and for going on but i just want to tell the world how much i love him. IM IN LOVE WITH YOU MR TEELING 3 3
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female
reader, xxpenniferxx  +, writes (10 June 2008):
Oh hun I can seriously relate to you here! Our situations may not be the same in the fact that I have told people and you haven't, but they are exactly the same in the fact that we are both extremely in love with a teacher which is sucking certain factors out of us and it kills us that they don't love us back.I'm pretty sure I can help you on this, because believe me, I've been there and I'm still there now. Firstly, I know how you feel about not wanting to tell people! But seriously, it helps if you do! When I started to like a teacher in year 9, I wasn't gonna tell anyone - I felt stupid! Then my best mate guessed cos she always caught me looking at him, and then she guessed all these other teachers I fancy and she didn't tease me or think I was wrong or anything! It's 100% normal to fancy a teacher and develop feelings for them - that's one thing you NEED to know! No one will laugh, at least in a nasty way anyway! Just tell one of your closest mates at least, because they can go through this with you, even if that involves just pointing him out to you when she sees him in the corridor and you having a little giggle. It takes such a weight off your shoulders just when one person knows.I dont know what relationship you have with your mum, whether you open up to her or not but if you do - then don't feel embarassed to tell her! My mum knows all the teachers I fancy and she always asks for updates on whats been happening and helps me when she sees me crying my eyes out over them. The fact that you fancy someone who is over 20 years older is seriously NOT wrong or it doesn't mean it's because you can't get a boyfriend your own age. You just prefer mature men, someone who could protect you and its all to do with lust. Please believe me on this that fancying older men isn't wrong. I haven't fancied anyone my own age for years and years! I always go for older men - whether they are teachers, people in the street, celebs on TV...anyone! I ALWAYS like older men, never my own age! I have a reputation for it aswell! And I've never had a serious relationship either. My last boyfriend was about 2 years ago and he was much younger than me (perhaps thats why I now go for the oldies lol!) and Ive only had 2 before that which lasted about a week. (Sorry I'm not meaning to write an essay here!)I know just what it's like being in love with a teacher who is married with kids and will NEVER love you back. I've fancied loads of teachers and still do but as I said before, there has been 3 who I've just fallen head over heels for and its become an obsession. I've cried myself to sleep over them, I've become extremely depressed over them and I've done things which I'm not going to mention on this public site. They have never left my mind.I've left school now - I go in for 3 more exams in the next week, but after that, it's over! I have to get these teachers out of my head forever and it's so so hard!One of these teachers is the one who left a year ago which broke my heart - shattered it into pieces. I haven't seen him for a year and I'm going to see him in less than 3 weeks as he is invited back for my prom,which I told you about in my previous post, but believe me, I'm so nervous! It's taken a whole year to get over him. I still think about him all the time though and I'm scared I'll see him again and fall straight back into love with him.Sorry this has been so much to read, its just I've been in your situation so many times, I'd love to help as much as I can.Pennyx x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2008): Feeling love for your teacher is ok. This shows that you are growing up and know what you want in a man.
Harrassing your teacher, telling him how you feel, wanting him to love you back, chasing him. All these things are not ok. Your teacher is not free to love you, he is at school to teach, he has a job to do.
Love your teacher with all your heart, and try to work hard and make him proud of you. But your love is your own burden, your own secret, not to be shared.
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female
reader, xxpenniferxx +, writes (8 June 2008):
Gosh I read your post and I see myself in you! I'm known by my mates for fancying teachers - I fancy loads! There have been about 3 who I have just fallen for so badly! You probs have alot of people saying to you "oh get over it, it's just a crush" but I know exactly what you mean when you say obsession! My whole life for the past few years has revolved around these 3 teachers!
One teacher left last year and I was absoloutly gutted - we had a VERY close relationship, I fancied the pants off him and was in love with him and when he left I cried and he gave me a hug. 1 year on and he is still NEVER out my mind. He's coming back for my prom in 3 weeks and I'm so excited and nervous.
The 2nd teacher I have fancied for about a year. (I've left school now which I'm gutted about) and this teacher knows I fancy him! My mate let it out, the whole year knows and no one leaves him alone about it. We still get on really well and he lets me flirt with him cos he knows I'll take it no further.
The 3rd one is the biggest flirt Ive ever met in my life! We get on so well and he flirts with me like nothing before! It's really amazing!
As well as these 3, there are and have been loads of teachers I fancy! I've probs been in every situation possible!
I'd love to help you on this - I'm sure there's so much advice I could give you! If you'd like to chat more then you can send me a private message or reply back to your original post.
Penny
x x x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2008): hey i'm the girl hu posted the comment on the 1st of june and i came back here to see if you had posted any updates and you had! basically a quick note to say no problem on the advice front and just ignore all the negative comments you get, the comment posted on the 31st May didn't make much sense to me either! i'm glad you've got your problem into perspective and that you are coming to terms with it, you shud be proud of yourself it's a hard thing to do! and i'm glad my advice was slightly helpful =] xxxxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2008): Hi! first of all i feel that the last anonymous post was a bit harsh..... you may or may not be 'sexually attracted' to this teacher and even if you are it doesn't matter! As you can probably tell from logging on to this site LOADS of people (including me!) are in love with their teachers, so let me assure you that you are not alone. I'm not sure how much help i can give you but i'll try!First of all don't worry! like i said before you are definetly not the only one who feels this way about one of their teachers and it's totally normal. all the 'symptoms' you describe sound a lot like how i feel. when i'm in his class, my heart beats so fast and i'm always trying to catch his attention but in the end i just feel pathetic for doing it! however look at the positive side; your grades will probably get a lot better! my teacher teaches physics, which i used to hate. but now i'm actually eager to get to class and find myself understanding it. i know it probably makes you look like a bit of a 'geek' but think of it this way; your teacher will be impressed! and i completely understand the hurt you are going through. it kills me inside that i can never be with my teacher and that he barely knows i even exist! You seem to have a sensible attitude towards your problem already; you know that you can't have a relationship with him and i would encourage you to not tell him about your feelings for him. you may have the most innocent intentions, however schools take this kind of thing very seriously. i would encourage you to talk to people about how you feel. it tooks me months to pluck up the courage to tell anyone about my feelings however once i did, i felt SO much better and discovered that loads of my friends felt the same way about the same teacher! if you don't feel ready to tell your friends though you could keep a diary (sounds lame, but works quite well!) or just talk to people on here. if they are anything like me, they will be happy to share their experiences. try not to let this obessesion take over your life. spend time with your mates, have fun! don't let the fact you can never be with him depress you all the time. also try and hang out with some boys of your ownn age, maybe you'll find someone who makes you feel the same way! i hope my advice was slightly helpful! let me know how it goes!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008): I can't believe the number of posts from young teenage girls like this one who say they are in love with their teachers. These kinds of posts are all over this site. Can anyone explain why such a young girl would be sexually attracted to man who is twice her age, or older? Most of these posts seem to be from the United Kingdom, and I wonder why that is?
Sweetheart, let me ask you something. Why are you in love with this teacher? What about him makes you feel that way about him? Do you find yourself sexually attracted to him? By that I mean, would you want to have sex with him or have you fantasized about having sex with him? If so, why? Don't you like boys your own age?
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A
female
reader, innocencelost +, writes (30 May 2008):
 You have to stop this now its not a good thing at all,i went through it, my life got destroyed. don't believe me? read my story-
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-falling-for-your-teacher-is-never-good.html
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (29 May 2008):
Hi, you've come to this site and have obviously realized you're not the only one who has feelings for her teacher. So it's not uncommon, it's not abnormal, it's just what you're feeling.
The think to keep in mind is that what you do with these feelings could have major repercussions for your teacher, his career, his whole life if you don't manage this properly. So I'm not trying to be mean here, just practical, okay?
My best advice to you is to start a journal where you can write down your feelings but do NOT under any circumstances tell your teacher how you're feeling for him. You could also tell your parents that you have very strong feelings for the teacher if you think they'd understand.
There are some good posts on this site under 'forbidden love' about this same topic and you'll be able to read about it from all angles. I'd like to ask you to read this post by a teacher who is in the position of having a student with a crush on him.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/a-student-is-in-love-with-me-how.html
This may help you see things through a teacher's eyes, a good skill to have is empathy for another person's feelings and perspective on the whole situation. You're still young and have your whole life ahead of you, so you're still learning and growing.
I wish you all the best, and being a nerd might help you with your future studies, so maybe it isn't all bad. ;)
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