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*ad hurt David
writes:This is a long story!I have been with the same girl for over a year now and I am very much in love with her. I am sad alot of the time because I don't trust her. In the first month we were together I asked her if she still was in contact with other guys and she said no of course. I found out that she was taking on the phone late at night with a guy friend that she met over the internet and had coffee with sometimes. She was talking with him at her home passed midnight. After that I was looking at her cell phone and she had pictures of her, a little girl and a guy. I could not see the guys face. She said it was her cousin and the little girl was his daughter. There was a picture of her in a paddle boat. She said that it was a weekend away at her Dad's cottage. Anyway, a few months later I went to that cottage and it looked nothing like the pictures and there was no paddle boats there. The problem is that she lies all the time about everything. Pathological liar. This passed weekend almost a year later he daughter told me that she was gone camping for the weekend with that guy a year ago. I don't want it to be true ! My heart says it's not true but my inside says it is. I'm always eating myself up inside, I find it so hard to trust her and told her a million times to never lie because it's so hard to trust when you do. She says she doesn't lie even when it's right there in her face....What do I do?????
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female
reader, elli1  +, writes (2 June 2010):
Omg. I can't stand the fact that these people exist.I went out with one. they really are not human. I would say to him that don't make sense and he would spin it and he was good at it and fast. and real smart. and handsome I was in love with him. He sucked me in quick. everything was great at the first made me feel real good about my self. But it took a lot for me to get away from him I never had a free minute he was always calling me and spinning me. I am still healing from that evil devil. He little by little worked on me til I could not think. I ended up scared all the time some how. and Some how I got away. He had women every where would meet them on line or where ever. He was also a con artist. All I can say The minute someone bullshits you or things don't make sense you are right and It's a big red flag to run as fast as you can before they really dig there hooks in deep. It is hard because we all want someone to love. But People like this have no real feeling they only care about there own ego and will suck you dry. Take Care all
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male
reader, duronimo  +, writes (13 January 2010):
Wow I can hardly believe what i have just read. There must be so many of these cruel animals out there. Its horrible that they are allowed to play with your mind and emotions and when you find out you have to try to recover.It takes ages. The way I have dealt with it is to keep telling myself these people are mentally sick. And they are!!! It is just not the norm. My doctor told me that you seldom see a liar become a non liar. Thats because they dont know they are doing it. Yet they are calculating and clever. their minds must race ahead in time. Depression seems to be a big thing in their lives also. But that could be a lie too. RUN RUN RUN as fast as you can they are not going to change.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010): I am a guy who has had a relationship with another guy for 12 years. He is a pathological liar. I knew it all the time but I loved him and still do. We were sould mates, or so i thought. Recently he decided to move on to someone else so cut me off. I have been left with mountains of lies and deceit to deal with and i am finding that emotionally draining. He has so messed with my head, then he told me that the trust had gone??? Give me a break. His stories are grandios and I sympathized with him. I miss him terribly but he is a crook. He has criminal tendancies but when he is with me he is fine. His own Mother told me to cut him right off, they had to years ago but they still love him. He is dangerous not physically but emotionally as they play with your feelings and mind. You believe what they say as they are so convincing. Not any more for me tho. I believed he would change but he wont so now is messing with someone elses head. id love to warn this man but I know he has been pre warned about me. My diagnosis for him is narsaccistic personality disorder. Its a horrible place to find yourself believe me. I wish that I could depise the man. GET OUT guys GET OUT as quick as you can.
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male
reader, Anakalipsis +, writes (2 June 2009):
well i just broke up a week ago from a pathological liar. ive been with her nine months and everything was a lie! she is still in a relationship for four years! and besides me she had 2 more people that she used to talk every night! thats why when i used to call her late night she was sleeping or we had thousand of dropped calls...battery dead...her cell fall off....thousand of excuses!...ill tell you this ! ! run run run away! whatever i remember was a lie..but i loved her! i was always nice to her hoping she will stop!...she is sick! run run away! relax for while and find another who will respect you and you will trust... plenty of fish out there....just do it! if you like you can contact me by email...good luck to you..
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reader, Calguy +, writes (30 July 2008):
 I totally understand how you feel. They are not humans -- they cut through your heart by defending their stupid lies even when you want to forgive them and be nice to them. They occasionally admit that they have lied -- they only admit 1 out of 100. And that's something they can't even forget because you caught them on the site and bashed her to coma (like hugging a lover when you just appeared behind them) or something you didn't said it's a lie (such as a joke they said).The pathological lovers were indeed the worst experiences I've ever had. Sometimes I read about news saying if marriage with them can be nullified because they can't fulfill any obligations in a family -- they don't respect others or consider others feelings. They are cold-blooded animals. In my case, I think I come from a society (China) that doesn't accept homosexuality, and those girls I have encountered all display obvious lesbian traits when their guard is loose. They have twisted the reality to lure other people think they are straight. This included attracting as many guys as possible -- by openly and unrestricted flirting, or "accidental" exposure of parts of their bodies when guys are around. They try to get guys into bloody competitions for them. In this way, other girls won't find them lesbian, so they can enjoy their narcissistic obsession of being a "perfect" girl. They are internally insecure and inferior. I think that's how they became pathological liars. They can never fulfill any family responsibilities for guys -- because they simply don't love guys due to homosexuality.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008): I am so sorry for yor heartache.I have a friend who is a pathological liar, and although some things we could all laugh at, like " the head of MI5 called me last night to wish me luck for my son getting into the school" When she freaked out on my 10 year old son, and called him a bully and told him that his Godfather, her husband doesn't like him, the cleaning lady doesn't like him, the dishwasher repair man doesn't like him, it got out of control. When confronted she said that my son had made the whole thing up, she is mad.The thing is she is very sick, but these people are so convincing that others believe them, people like you and I become afraid that people will think that it's us that are mad, and sometimes that does happen. All we can do is distance ourselves from these people, they don't get better, they spiral out of control in the end, be very careful, and just get away while you can, you must understand that nothing is ever thier fault... good luck all !
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2008): Just let her go. Don't call her on it. If she is a pathological liar she has a skill for avoidance and denial and she'll make you feel okay about it when it's not. I just "broke up" (I hope I don't go back but I have so many times) with a pathological liar. She would deny things that had happened that I saw happen with my own two eyes. I thought I was jealous and at some points completely insane because of this woman. Run! Don't look back! The pain just keeps getting worse and worse. I think that's what they thrive on. Your pain feeds their ego. It makes them laugh. It entertains them. They aren't even human. There is no recovery for them either because recovery requires the utmost honesty.
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reader, entity  +, writes (25 October 2007):
Being in love with a liar is the worst experience in my life. I falled in love with this beautiful girl and our relationship was going very well.
Somehow, I had the feeling that she wasn´t honest with me, so I crossed the line and checked her email. Now, that´s not a nice thing to do, but for me it was an essential thing to do. I was putting myself down for being so jealous, and becoming paranoid about what´s true and what doesn´t, so I just went for it without thinking too much.
If everything was OK, I will apologize and love her forever, and if I found anything nasty at least I will make sure I´m not a paranoid/jealous person.
I was shocked to see, not only she have written to his ex saying she was still in love with him and wanted him back (which wasn´t so shocking as she told me she was having problems to overcome her past relationship), but also she was telling lies to his ex like she hasn´t been with anyone since they broke. That really p*ssed me off, as we were sleeping everyday together for few months, and yes, making love as well.
Then I discovered quite a bunch of lies to different people that really took all my confidence away.
I left her after this as honesty has to be the first quality for my loved one, but this girl was calling me everyday asking me to forgive her... and, let´s face it, I really loved her, so I gave her a second chance. It was unpleasant because obviously my attitude towards her wasn´t the same. Anyway, I´ve been avoiding taking her phone to read her messages, or read her email again, until one day I had a nightmare and woke up late at night. I was visiting some websites and suddenly Mr Satan appeared on my left shoulder to click on that Gmail icon standing on the browser. There was no saint on the right side, so I just clicked on it and found another bunch of inconvenient truths, and a picture of her ex naked upside down, and her commenting "this one I´ll keep it to myself".
Enough was enough and with deep sadness in my heart I had to let her go. I know that was the real solution from day 1, but when you are so in love with someone, it´s such a hard decision to make.
Now, I blame myself for invading her privacy, but at the other hand, if I didn´t do it, I´ll be loving a compulsive liar that will hurt me so much.
My advice for you is: if you don´t trust someone, it´s the right time to break the relationship.
Sorry about the long post, but this happened to me just a couple of days ago, and I really needed to tell someone.
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female
reader, Cateyes +, writes (16 October 2007):
 Bottom line is if you can't build your relationship on trust, what can you? And will you be happy? Really happy?
It sounds as if she has told you to many lies and you are now finding them all out one by one. They are the lies to cover up the other lies and it's because of those lies that it becomes to hard to believe a word, any word, that will now come out of her mouth.
I'd call her on this lie...if you have all the proof in the world, then I would flat out show it to her and tell her. Ask her what the name of the camp is or try finding out. What can she do this time but to lie her way out, right? You'll know....and you'll know what you need to for your future.
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reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (15 October 2007):
 I have just seen Waterloo Sunset comment "leopards never change..." which has reminded me. Before I decided I did a bit of introspection and looked at my worst weakness (timekeeping) and asked myself if I could ever "cure" myself. I decided not. It was part of me - innate. Everyone is different. We've all got different weaknesses. Hers was lying. Fair enough - that's how she is. Some might be able to live with it - but I couldn't.And I would concur with the comment - it nearly drove me crazy as well.
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reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (15 October 2007):
I feel for you. I had a similar experience (similar but not the same) I went out with a very respectable lady.I loved her so much, and she loved me. Only problem was her lies, I couldn't tell what was true and false. All I can tell is what I did. I started making a few checks - like you did. I knew I had been told a few lies at the beginning,and a few throughout but I started to find more and more untruths. Although deeply in love with her I just couldn't trust her and as I visualized the future I realized that more and more would rely on trust. I concluded a future relationship without trust was impossible for me. So I bit the bullet. I can't tell you hard it's been. It's how I found this website. All I do know is that things would have been a lot worse if I'd stayed. I came out of it emotionally damaged, but still able to fight another day. I can't tell you what to do. Your choice is similar to mine, pain and torment whichever you choose. If I had to do it again I would have done two things different (1) I would have planned "life after break-up" in advance (2) I mistakenly contacted her for about six weeks after the break-up. All that did was prolong my pain. I should have stuck with my decision. You can mail me if you want. I know difficult it can be. Good luck with whatever you decide.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): Leopards never change their spots!!! She will never change and you will be mad to stay with her. She has no respect for you and she never will. I would run like hell and get her out of your life for good. There are loads of lovely girls out there and you will meet one in the future, just get this liar out of your life NOW!!!!
take care
xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): Leave her & let her make some other guy miserable with her lieing, cheating ways. She won't change for you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): Unfortunately, this is going to be harder to hear than you realize. The thing about pathological liars is, they're so good at lieing sometimes they don't even know that they are doing it :( Trust is a huge part of a relationship, and if you can't trust this girl then I'm not sure what else is left? It really sounds like you love her, and it does sound like she makes you happy, aside from all the B.S she feeds you.
If she's lieing about little things like this, then what are you gonna do if she lies about the big stuff? The problem is, that you never can tell the difference. That's not how you build a relationship. I would sit her down and let her know how your feeling. See if that helps? Don't be suprised if she gets really defensive and doesn't change her ways. You just have to be ready to either sweep everything under a rug and live with it, or break away from her and move on. I know it's hard, but sometimes love isn't enough!
Good Luck!!!
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