A
male
age
30-35,
*onPonWayWayWay
writes:Hi, I'm Bi and I'm in love with this guy from high school and now he's in the military and I'm still afraid to tell him that I love him. Ever since high school I've had this crush on him, but that crush turned into some strong, intense feeling of love. I don't know what true love feels like, but when I'm with him, I feel all warm and happy inside.(Sorry if that was cheezy, but I really do feel that way. It's been 3 years now since he left for boot camp and is now in the military. He's far away from home now, but I still have feelings for him. It's been such a long time and we haven't contact each other much! Sure I wrote letters for him and we occasionally text, but I still feel distant. I feel so ridiculous because I really want him to know that I love him, but I'm so afraid to tell him. I tried to get over him, but whenever I think about him, I long for him. It's the strangest feeling. I think he's straight, but my heart tells me that he isn't perfectly straight there's some curiosity in there. My heart is telling(more like crying) for me to tell him how I feel, but I'm too afraid. I'm not out yet, and I don't plan to be in a while, I'm not quite ready yet. I don't know what to do, I can't forget about him no matter what. We shared this bond, and it's not breaking!!! I kind of want to forget about him so I can move on, but my heart is still holding him, reserving a space for him. I don't know what to do. Should I wait for some "perfect" opportunity or plain out tell him? If I do tell him, I want to tell him physically not by text. For 3 years, I've been thinking and longing for him. other guys have tried to ask me out, but I ignore all of them. But part of me want to meet new people, but this intoxication with this guy is keeping me from liking other guys. I'm really sorry this is way too long, but I had to spill almost everything out. I've kept "gay" stuff in the inside and this is my first time talking about it. So i guess the internet can help. Thanks :)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (3 April 2012):
 the fantasy of an unavailable man can be quite enticing for a gay man who isn't fully out. you've fallen for a man who has given you no real signals that he is gay and is away in a foreign country.
i'm telling you from experience that falling in love with a friend where you are not absolutely certain that there is a homosexual undertone (no matter how strong the feeling of love on your part) has for me ended in a broken friendship and unrequited love and i had wasted opportunities with so many hot men that really were into me, all cos i loved this man more than anything. in retrospect i was wasting my time in a big way.
don't make the mistake i did- unless he is making it clear he likes you, used to make physical contact and flirt with you and made it very clear he has sexual interest in you i wouldn't waste my energy. for me at least i missed out on a lot while being in the state of one sided love that really was a big emotional drain on my life.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 April 2012):
 First of all does he know you are gay? If he knows and nothing has happened in the years you have known him, then I'm sorry to say he isn't interested in you that way.
I think you are idolizing this guy and I'm sorry to say I am inclined to guess that he will cut contact if he find out you are "madly in love with him". You said you haven't seen him in these 3 years since he left for boot camp?
He is a fantasy, honey. Crushes and fantasies are great, but they can also keep you from living your life.
I don't want to crush your hopes, but I don't think he is gay. However, YOU are the one texting and talking to him, have you ever hinted at anything? Made jokes? Anything? Does he talk about guys he work with or girls he dates?
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