A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy at work. I know that was my first mistake. Whe I first saw him, it was an immediate attraction where something in me had to meet this man. He came to me and got my phone # from my files. He was in a higher position. We fist started off as friends. Both coming out of long term relationships. Agreed that we would just be there for eachother and help eachothere get through the heart ache. Well eventually it turned into a relationship. We both opened up to eachother and let eachother in on our deepest secrets. I trusted him. It was everything!. I could be myself, and he didnt judge me or my flaws. I was perfect to him. At least thats what came out of his mouth. I eventually fell in love with this man only to find out later he was still seeing his ex. Not only was he seeing his ex, he had met someone else in another city. When it all came out it was supposed to be our last night together. I really didnt believe it was because we've had many of "last nights" together. It started off so perfect. We couldnt keep away from eachother. I introduced him to my children (2 girls). They loved him and he was good to them. He started coming to our family nights every week. He wanted to come he invited himself. He brought up kids, work future plans and everything that screamed relationship and commitment but yet would always say we were just friends. Then I broke it off with him because of that he had the nerve to tell me I had his undevided attention and he was falling for me. My question is, if that were true, why was seeing his ex? why did he meet somebody new? I we were just friends, why wasnt he completely honest with his feelings? Now I'm stuck, crying and in love with this man and he went back to his ex. The one he says hurt him th most and he could never trust. They fight and he calls me to validate him and make him feel like the man. He told me that i complete him and i filled the void in his heart. If that is so, Why are we not together? Why didn't he pick me? And everything he told me women did to him and how women hurt him, he did to me and hurt me in those exact ways. and everytime I delete him from my life phone, email, pictures, he calls or text. I dont get it either he wants me or he doesn't. I'm confused and in love with this man who choose to keep me hanging on while he figures out what he wants. But I'm the only one suffering. I'm the only one crying and having lonely nights. When my girls are gone is when hurts the most. What should I do? How do I get over this man who says he cares and I make him feel like he's never felt before, but yet he didn't pick me.. He pick the one he says hurt him and he cant trust. I need some answers because I don't understand and I dont know what to do!!![Moderator's note: Please clarify the detail of how you discovered the man was seeing his ex and in what terms.]
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at work, fell in love, his ex, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2008): Just push the "mute" button during everything that's happened. Go over it all again without including what anybody said in words.
Actions speak so much louder & clearer.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008): i feel so sad about what has happened to you, i've been through that with someone that i loved so much the other thing that i've learned about relationships is that man do take advantages expecially when you show them that you really love them.You are not alone sister,i've learned it the hard way but the only thing is that you've found out about the truth as early as possible the only thing you must know is that he is not worth your tears so please do yourself a favour and move on with your life and i know it wont be easy but he has told that you just a friend so please don't waste on this pathetic loser.
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