A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I don't now what to do I feel like I am in a catch 22 situation. I have fallen for this guy in a big way, he is gorgeous and when we are talking he seems really into me, but he doesn't always talk just when he feels like it and it's killing me because sometimes he will talk and other times he doesn't. I think he nows that I am inexperienced (and a virgin), I have told him on a number of occasions that I don't hook up but he keeps offering himself but he doesn't want a girlfriend. I am really into him but I don't want to be used just for "fun" we have kissed once, he kills me when he does talk to me because I have fallen for him so much. Can I change this situation, I mean I now he wont go out with me even though he says he's into me but how can I become strong and hope that he still talks to me. (we work in the same building). Thanks for reading. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2009): I don't think there's a good outcome here. You need to walk away. You've been single and virginal for this long, don't throw it away on someone who does not share your feelings and does not intend for the relationship to go as far as you do. He's being honest with you and that's better than a lot of guys who are seeking free sex w/o commitment. So you know how he is. Sex may mean a lot of you but you cannot forcibly make it mean that much to him too. If you insist on trying to change him and pursue this, then you have only yourself to blame when you get hurt. You can try to tell yourself that you can handle sleeping with him without commitment. But it won't work. If you do this then I can almost guarantee you that you will be back on this website trying to find a way out of this bad situation in a few weeks, feeling more hurt and torn than you already do. So he's "made himself available" to you for sex but not for a relationship. That's great. He's graciously offering you the same thing that about half of all single men your age with a pulse would offer. This is the half that's less worthwhile.
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