A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Readers, Please help me. I have been married for the last 5 years, I have a daughter (4 yrs old) and during my delivery I had severe heart complications and was under coma for almost a week after delivery. It took me almost 3 years to recover but still the doctors have outrightly advised me not to consider a second pregnancy, as it may be life-threatening for both me and the child. But the problem is that my mother-in-law has been told by a pandit that my next child would be a boy. And ever since she has been forcing me to get pregnant again, knowing everything about my health conditions. Earlier my husband was supportive of me and asked me to overlook his mother's words, but lately even he has shown his desire for a boy child. Please help me out. I dont want to risk my life, and i dont desire a boy child, im happy with my daughter, she is my world and i dont discriminate between a boy or girl. Is there any women organisation that i can call for help? Please suggest me what to do. I don't have a job, and will never have one since my MIL and husband doesn't allow me to do a job. Please help me out and save my life. Thanks a lot. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, sofy  +, writes (4 July 2011):
Hmmm, I don't know what to tell you to do. If your mother-in-law is anything like mine, she'll never give up. I can understand your dilemma. I am in a similar situation here except I don't have a health risks. I know how frustrated you must be and how trapped you must feel. You should ask your husband if he would prefer have the boy child and loose you. If that is a risk he's willing to take...
A
female
reader, LustyLisa  +, writes (16 September 2010):
You poor thing, I feel for you and the situation you are in. Obviously, male children in your culture is the prefered gender and that's been the case for centuries. Even tho you didn't name the heart condition, I'm thinking it's gestational cardiomyopathy. This condition is permanent and can even worsen as you age natually, not just during subsequent pregnancies. This additional constant pressure by your MIL and husband to get pregnant again has to be adding additional stress that can negatively impact your condition too. They seriously have skewed priorities in regards to your health and they could use a reality check. How is the problem!! You have centuries of tradition, religeon and cultural aspects working against you. Maybe a surrogate mother would be a good option as long as you can be comfortable with it and there's no negative social, ecomonic or religeous consequences for you down the road.
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A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (4 September 2010):
 At the end of the day it's down to you. Stick to what you want and not the MIL. Concentrate on the beautiful child you already have. Good Luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for your inputs. I have already been to the doctor with my MIL and the doctor has clearly told her how risky this delivery can be for me, but still she is very adamant on a boy child. She is asking me to look for a surrogate mother...
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (3 September 2010):
 I think you posted before. I told you to go to the hospital with your husband. Your doctor will tell him that it is dangerous for you to have a child. Your husband can then tell his mother, he is not willing to kill you and leave his children without a mother. She will just have to be satisfied with that.
Go and take him to the doctors and let the doctors tell him that you will die if you try to have another baby.
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (3 September 2010):
I suggest very strongly that you make an appointment with your doctor for a private consultation and tell him everything. He will give you the facts. Sounds like his mother is putting pressure on him. Surely he can remember the time you were in a coma and how serious your condition was. Also search the net for organizations to help women and email them. Hope this helps
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