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female
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anonymous
writes: I've been in an long distance online relationship with this guy for 3 years and we would talk practically everyday and alot on the phone. everything was completely fine until all of a sudden he just hasn't come online anymore for nearly 3 months now. I wrote to him to ask if he was coming back and intstead of giving me a straight answer he replied saying that he loves me and misses me and that I should always remember that. And when he came online a few days ago for the first time in ages he just ignored me. I feel so confused by this behaviour and am finding it hard to move on from it without being given any explanation or conclusion. What should I do? Any advice would be really appreciated. Thankyou
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2006): Sorry you feel so hurt and upset. You know, if you had been writing and talking by phone for three years, but never met, then there really wasn't much prospect for your friendship to go any further. Being in another country certainly makes it a lot more difficult, but meeting might have been managed, if you both wanted to badly enough.
It can only be a potential, not real, friendship unless you meet in person. Sad but true. It just sounds as if he has realized things have probably run their course and is now moving in another direction.
He did tell you he loves and misses you, and that you should always remember that. So, apprarently he did value your emails and phone calls, enjoyed talking with you, only as I said, there wasn't a good grounding in real life.
Be glad you had this pen-pal friendship, but now move on with your own life - don't beat yourself up for the fact that you had feelings for him! It happens. Accept it, forgive yourself, and him, and move on.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2006): It was just online and phone. We had plans to meet but nothing solid. Hes in another country to me so it wasn't as straightforward. The whole things such a head wrecker! I wish I had never met him and I feel so angry with myself for allowing my feelings to develop so strongly. I'm usually such a level headed person.
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A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (21 September 2006):
 You say its a long distance online relationship but you don't mention whether you have actually met this guy or whether it is completely 100% online and phone.
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