A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, I need some advice on the importance of family in a relationship. Basically my partner's family are rude at times, have little to no manners and the majority also have poor social skills e.g. saying hello can be an issue. The parents do invite me to things and do make an effort that way but they are so different to my parents and I wonder how they will all get along. I also worry from my perspective about getting on with the family in the future - I would have liked to have another extended family. I do love my partner but worry about this as family is important to me. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (5 May 2009):
Well if you are looking for a husband with a whole new family to take you on then yes, dump him and look elsewhere.
If you are looking for a man to love then accept that anything else would just have been a bonus.
Good Luck!! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2009): my husbands family is very cold like this. I call them a buisness family. If I get a hug from his mother I think that there is something wrong! Coming from a affectionate household I do find it strange.Unfortunetly you can do only so much. I say be yourself and do your thing. They will have to either respond or be jerks. Some people do not know how to properly socialize or be polite.I fought the same feelings your having and it came down to, am I going to be uncomfortable around them, or love them quirks and all. I picked the latter. I also go into it being myself, no matter how outgoing I am and they are not, and they will just have to adjust to my personality. Also you should not care how they think of you. It makes it all much easier to be yourself. If your partner loves you then they should put a effort forth to be warmer and more social with you.Prep your family too, tell them the deal, they will then know when it comes to a situation when they are all together that this is what it is, and they can roll their eyes later about it LOL
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A
female
reader, mima  +, writes (5 May 2009):
 Well, I think the family of who you wanna be with, matters alot. But if they are that way, you cannot change them and you wouldnt leave your partner coz of them. dont let them worry you. Just learn to live in peace with each one of them and try developing more tolerance to help you stay in love with your partner. good luck
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