A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ive been in my relationship for 7 years. Weve had our problems , but as far as i can tell we have been very happy and comfertable. Unfortunatly i suspect hes getting bored with me. We only get to see each other on the weekends since our schedules conflict and were both in college. We live sepratly at the moment but looking for a place. Im always eager to see him but the last few weekends he wants to spend nights alone. He dosnt seem to enjoy sex like he used to. Hes used the excuse that living with his parents is the reason but its only recently. He acts fine on the day i do get to see him. He tells me hes happy with me and if anything is wrong he would tell me. but hes never been one to let his true feelings out right away. Latly ive been doing anything i can to make him happy, Buying him things,taking him places he likes. But he still feels distant. I understand excitment fades in longterm relationships. Im worried that i may lose him and confused on what i would need to do to keep him. Or if im just paranoid. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, HollieMc +, writes (20 July 2010):
 I am in a long term relationship also. And I have JUST noticed this problem in my own relationship as well, about 2 months ago.
I actually asked him if he was becoming or is bored with me, and he reassure me that he was not and just busy.
His and I relationship has also had/has its problems, and we used to go through this a lot.
My fiance sounds much like your boyfriend, by not expressing their feelings. I hate that, because I am a talker, and i want to tell everything that's running through my mind.
I believe relationships go through times like this, and i am telling you this in hope for my own relationship also, because I can relate..
I feel you should get all the information you need, ask him if he is interested in someone else, does he still love you, and so on. Then just let it go. I know its not as easy as that, because i dwell on it sometimes.
But in the past I recall me doing the same thing to him, and he treating me so well. Calling me more often, talking to me more nice than usual, and frankly, i loved it. I felt like i had the "power" of the relationship. And i could see how much my angry emotions effected him so much.
Eventually i probably gave in, and our relationship went back to normal. or i upset him, and he stopped treating me that way, ha. Who knows
but either way, if he is in fact Enjoying you treating him like this "but secretly enjoying" you should stop, hold back, and just give him time to see. Because its like you are spoiling him for acting badly in the relationship.
Example: taking a child to the park, and buying them ice cream after they were horrible to their sibling, or parent. He may not want to stop acting this way, because he doesn't want you to stop treating him so well.
He isn't treating you the way you are normally treated by him, so of course you will wonder.
and something is going on with him. Perhaps he is angry,or he could be just busy, but you need to find out..
Tell him you love him, but you can not keep wondering, and trying to make him happy in your dispense.
And that is when you stop all the extra given attention toward him.
and he will most likely stop.
like i said, i am in this situation, and i am still working through. I believe it will work because this happened to him and i numerous times before in the past, and it turned out fine,...until it happened again..
Men who hold in their feelings make it very hard for those types of ladies who tell everything about their feelings. Because they have the power over us, by knowing everything we think of, and we know nothing.
I did find out my fiance was and still is mad at me, over something. Therefor he is holding back love, and not being as charismatic as he used to be. SO i am just going to let him be mad as long as he wants, and know it will fade in time. Everything does. In the past I was very angry with him for a long time, and i let him know that, and i held back my love also, but in time i got over it. SO whatever the reason it is he is treating you like this, it will fade. but give it time, and don't bring it up too much, because you are reminding him that you notice, and care, so he is showing you he doesn't right now, But him still being in the relationship with you is telling you he does care , and he does. Other wise he wouldn't be playing this charade with you..
good luck, and i would love to know how it goes.
:) hope i helped a bit.
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