A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidI met a wonderful man in January. I'm 35yr old single parent of two teenagers, never been married.My partner is 39yr old and never had a long standing serious relationship or had any children or brought a woman home to meet his parents before. I've also met the rest of the family.He's does a lot for a family, ( living with parents ) so much so, to the point that, I am cynical towards their expectations of him. It's the same of his aunties, cousins etc to. Anything needing done, he's expected to be there to fix it. House extensions, new kitchens etc. Since seeing me, he's not so readily available as what they're used to having him over the last 20yrs.Since we met, mainly his mother, is stressing, making comments, such as - well son, I've had you for 20yrs, i'm going to have to learn to share you - another time she stressed - he'll get married, move in with her and we'll have to sell the house. They're always asking him when he stays the night with me, where he's slept, and one time said - women can tease and do things to you.Thriving on comments that i'm 35yrs and a single parent and why haven't I been married. I feel, the whole family are to dependant on him finacially and physically and wont want to let him go.He's proposed to me and we're both emmigrating ( pending approval ) to New Zealand. When we first met, I was already in the process, but put it on hold after we started dating, and he's quite happy to sell up and not come home.I'm so worried and anxious, of what's coming next. I'm taking her boy to the other side of the world.Any help/guidance would be greatly appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your kind words. He's telling the family when they return from their holidays soon. Here's hoping all goes well.
A
female
reader, suzy1221  +, writes (5 August 2008):
Dear,
To move to a another country is a big step. I know, because I have done it. Make sure you both want and expect the same things. Be prepared for a lot of changes. Culture, language, laws etc. You and your children are going to have to adapt to a different life style and to adapt to your new partner and vice versa. It can be done and you can find yourself being very happy. It all takes positive attitude and understanding. Easy said than done. I know, but if you both are truly committed to this relationship, it will work. Love conquers all. Good luck! I wish you the best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): Congratulations on your engagement, dear. Listen this fellow seems to know what he wants and that is you. He's ready for the big plunge, and he's committing to you. I think he is behaving like a man in love, who wants a new beginning. Remember, they have had him around for 20 years! It will be hard for them but his family will have no choice but to accept it, because if they love him, they would want him to be happy, they will let go. But if they act petulant with him, the best you can do, is act classy, nice and just graciously 'ignore' any comments, pertaining to their relunctance to letting him go.
Try hard not to not think of yourself as "the bad woman taking this son away from his family" because you aren't. I think you know that. You have found a wonderful man to love and both of you seem happy and in love. So for now I would pull back and stay out of this, if you can. Let your bf deal with it-he knows how to handle his family. Give him the background love and support, by allowing him to hopefully, negotiate a position so his family will not be upset, nor be critical towards you. That would be highly unfair and judgemental if they were to do this. But understand, you are on the cusp of future happiness with this man, and he will need to be strong in protecting your honor as his number one lady in his life, Good luck and best wishes on your upcoming marriage.
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