A
female
age
30-35,
*lexisonfire
writes:I'm having trouble with this new guy i'm going to meet up with. I got this number off a networking site and we've been texting each other for a few weeks. We are now planning to meet up soon but the thing he is a nice guy. I know that any girl would say I'm crazy for being unsure of a nice guy but my ex boyfriend was a nice guy and he was just too nice. We were too much like best friends and we just didn't fit each other. He was always so nice to me and it was nice but sometimes it just bugged me.Also this is the first guy that I'm going to be getting involved with since I broke up with my ex and we were together for a while so I'm kind of unsure about this new guy even though he is nice. Any help?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2010): Give the man the benefit of the doubt and he will hopefully bring you a new light to look into. Its good you question given your past experiences and those shouldnt necessarily have to apply to him as he is a new guy who should receive a clean slate of thought from you. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2010): Its hard to forget someone and especially when you had loved that person. But life is for living not for putting a full stop on to it. You have to take risks to move on. If this new guy know your past and is ready to come along with you than you must give it a try. But take him as someone new and do not try to find your ex into this guy, because that might change his attitude toward you.Start with a good friendship and try to dicover whether he is the one or not...
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (12 November 2010):
 Don't judge the book on the cover. I've met a lot of seemingly nice guys, who after 6 months turned into their "true" form, of being not so nice guys.
People are different though, this man will never be just like your ex, because he is a totally different person. You need to be careful of not landing in the trap where you link attributes of your ex to attributes of a new man. The trap is when you see your new man do something, and immediately think the same thoughts that you thought about your ex. For example you harbor negative feelings for an ex, and when a new guy does something similar you react with the same negative feeling towards it. It is natural, it happens, and it is easy to project feelings onto someone like that. But you need to be aware of it if it happens.
In other words, your ex was a nice guy, but too nice. This too seems like a nice guy, but that doesn't at all mean he will be like your ex. Try and see this new guy with fresh eyes, and not link him to your ex.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (12 November 2010):
 Ok well just remember that this new guy might be nice but he is not your ex and he is probably not going to treat you the exact same way your ex treated you even though he is a nice guy doesnt mean that his niceness will irritate you like with your ex. Its obvious you and your ex werent meant to be if his behaviour annoyed you but dont dwell on this now, meet this new guy get to know him and see how things work out, dont compare him to your ex.
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