A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid: I am 40 years old and homossexual. In the past I have been in 2 relationships for 5 and 6 years respectively. Now I have been with a partner 15 years younger for nearly a year. We get along very well as we have the same interests in music, movies, places to go, computers, etc. I have never felt so compatible with someone before and my partner keeps saying he loves me and I do feel that is true just by the way he supports me and concern whether I am happy or not with the relationship. Also people are amazed when I tell I am 40 years old. They all think I am 30 or 33 and they say we really match and there is no big discrepancy in appearance. However I fear it might be a problem in the future as I will be aging first and he ends up leaving me. Sex is great now but in the future that might also be a problem. My partener has tried to assure me that he will always be with me and there will always be a way to sort things out and that our relationship is not based on sex or looks. I am very worried about the future and would appreciate some help. Thank you. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, justinfitzpatrick  +, writes (6 March 2010):
If I were you I'd be much more worried about my own paranoia sabotaging the relationship. If you start to come off as self-conscious or having low self-esteem it will be EXTREMELY unattractive and may make him want to leave you for that reason alone. I'm saying this from experience: my father has had a long-standing belief that I harbor some disgust of him, and it's EXTREMELY annoying when I'm aloof around him because I'm just in a bad mood and he accuses my behavior of instead being the result of disliking him.
Here's a plan of action to consider: Try as hard as possible to not think about it; banish the thought from your mind. Strive to be as charming and excellent and virtuous as you can be, so that it will be difficult for your partner to ever find a more attractive catch.
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