A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I’ve been invited out tonight by a group of people I went on a field trip with earlier this year. I’d like to go and feel that I should, but I’m missing the confidence to go out and do it. I know everyone but I’m not particularly good friends with anyone. This was a bit of an issue for me on the field trip because I felt that I was just tagging on to various groups of friends. Tonight will be different because there’ll be alcohol, and that makes a big difference for me as it normally makes me a lot more confident. But I’ll still have to go into a pub on my own to meet them, and be sociable with them before the effects of alcohol kick in.So basically, I want to go because I’m sure that it’d be fine once I get there and I’d end up enjoying myself. I’d also regret not going because I’d feel that I’ve missed out. But I’m nervous about actually doing it: going into town, meeting them and socializing. Can someone please give me a kick up the backside so that I just go for it and stop worrying about such petty little things?Thanks.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (9 October 2012):
 Ah, liquor. It's been making ugly girls look better.... and it's been making guys believe they can dance (when they really CAN'T....), since it was first discovered those oh-so many years ago.... when people were hunter-gatherers, and they got all giggly when they feasted on the last berries of the season (the rancid ones whose sugar had turned to alcohol!!!!)...
A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (9 October 2012):
 I think one small shot type drink before you go out would help. I am overly anxious and find socialising a nightmare and I know this helps me force myself through the door. Once this one wears off have another but no more after that. It will give you a confidence boost. I find I can chat to everyone when I have had a drink but can barely say hi to people I don't know without the confidence boost of a drink. I know I shouldn't advocate it but I do think it helps nervous,anxious people loosen up a little - all in moderation ofcourse.
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A
female
reader, Bowsandlondon95 +, writes (9 October 2012):
This time before meeting them you should go completely sober so people can get to know you for how you really are, and not when you are drunk. If you were always drunk when you met them, when they see you sober you might not seem to be the same person as they thought they knew. Once you are with them you should drink, but not overly so that you have no idea what you are doing. It doesnt matter if you come across as shy, we are all people amd everyone is different so you cant be expected to be outgoing. Just try your best to interact with everyone and just relax! :) Try to see if you have things in common with anyone and just talk about that! :)
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (9 October 2012):
 I'm probably going to get ripped to shreds for telling you to do this instead of offering a confidence solution, but you can always just do a shot before you go out. That's what pre-gaming is for in college I think. I wouldn't get in the habit of it, you should really work on your confidence, but since it's tomorrow and just this once I don't really see what the harm would be in doing it. Just be careful how much you drink with your friends. No one wants to hang out with the drunk girl.
You will be fine though and you should learn to not rely on alcohol to socialize. What if you tried having one drink before you went out and then not drinking beyond that so you can learn that people will like you just as you and not as buzzed you.
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