| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: My sister refuses to see a shrink and we (friends and I can't make her).She has always had hypochondriac, OCD and paranoid tendencies, but ever since she gave birth she has almost lost touch with reality. She decided to have a kid on her own at 43. I told her that I love her but that I didn't think that it was a good idea. Actually I told her that it was not a responsible thing to do, but a selfish and compulsive. She went on and did it, fearing that she will always be alone. She has never had a relationship. Men she was interested in didn't want to be with her and she kept running after them. Yes. They all resembled our father who left us and would pop up from time to time when he was lonely.Anyway. She developed anorexia when she was pregnant which led to a preterm birth. She spent the last month of her pregnancy in a hospital driving the staff crazy. They labeled her as a "hysterical and paranoid" (future) mother. They were not being mean. It's their job to understand their patients so that they could help them. They did all they could, but they couldn't force her to take a psych evaluation (I don't know why). Even now she's obsessed with "healthy foods"and refuses to eat normally (or at all) and then she would sneak around and eat a pound of chocolate (and then throw up).Her baby is still in PICU and due to covid she cannot see him. Honestly, I think it's better for the kid. She's obsessed with health issues she doesn't have. She keeps claiming that she has a fever and keeps showing me a thermometer which says otherwise. She claims she has a lower body temperature and that she has a fever regardless of "what this stupid things says". She paid to see 5 doctors in one day because she didn't believe that she was fine. She pays to get tested for covid weekly and she practically doesn't leave the house.She refuses to register for financial aid (as a single mother) because she believes that the social services would take away her kid, since she is a single mother without a steady job - something she never had.Basically, I think that she is not sure that she will be a good mother, but at the same time she is convinced that she is the only one who can "make her kid better". I have told her numerous times that she would benefit from seeing a professional. That these are stressful times and that it is normal that she is stressed, but she refuses. She says that she doesn't want to be diagnosed "with something" which would make the government take her kid away. I even played that card that if she really cares about the kid, she would talk to someone and see what that person has to say. She just gets angry and storms out.I've seen her in the past when she loses grip. Once, as an adult, she even attacked physically our mother, because our mother "betrayed" her by saying to some friends that we were helping her with the rent (which was true btw). Our mother could never deal with her and send her to therapy. My sister always refused. I have been given the role of taking care of my sister, but when I was in my early teens I realized that it was not my responsibility but I couldn't do much about it. I don't know what to do. She started scratching her arms so hard that she has marks. Yesterday I found out that she convinced one of her friends to give her some meds to calm herself down. I was furious with that friend, who is enabling her. I'm not saying she doesn't need meds, I have no idea, what I do know she needs professional help and I don't know what to do.I know about postpartum depression, OCD, psychosis... and I know that for her this is not something that is caused by having a kid, but it is seriously aggravated. I'm scared she might lose it completely.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2021): Could you perhaps arrange an appointment with a psychologist yourself and then ask your sister to come along with you for moral support. That way she will see what it entails and may perhaps be inclined to go herself?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2021): There is a lot you can do.You can for starters alert cps about the situation.They are there to help families and according to what you say she needs help.To ignore this child's safety in this situation would more than not be very tegretable.Who cares if your sister gets mad?This little helpless baby must come first.You want her to really be forced to get help??Make the call today.
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