A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Thanks for reading this, I need some advice! My bf of 8 yrs has started saying he would like us to get married and have children in the next year or two. I don't know if he means it, as he said the same thing last year, then broke up with me because he said he didn't want to be with me anymore. He moved out, and I found out he'd been seeing a girl from work behind my back. He stayed in touch with me, and 6 months later, he said he wanted us to be together, that nothing had happened with the girl from work, that he will always love me. At first I was very happy because I love him too, but now he's mentioned marriage/having children again, I'm starting to wonder about his motivations. I think maybe he got back together with me because things didn't work out with the girl from work? Because he hasn't met anyone else? Because he thinks I'm a sure fire bet for having a family?How do I work out his true motivations? I would like us to be together forever and to have a family, but I worry that, in years to come, he would leave both me and our potential kids if another woman came along. How do I stop doubting him? Should I marry him even with these doubts? Is it better to be with someone you love, to have their kids, but to have your doubts about their trustworthiness, or to be alone? Thanks.
View related questions:
broke up, got back together, moved out Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (15 March 2009):
Unfortunately you can never tell the future.
However, I firmly believe you should never get married if you have even the slightest doubt.
I think you have to give yourself a deadline and a set of standards.
Start pointing out expensive rings that you like when you are out in town. Give him till say, July and if he hasn't proposed in a very romantic way then walk away.
In the mean time, set up a savings account and start putting some bits of cash to one side. Even if it's only a few quid a week, it will all add up.
If he proposes and makes more effort to make you feel loved and wanted and appreciated, then you'll have the beginnings of a wedding fund.
If he doesn't then you'll have a deposit to put down so you can go and rent a place of your own.
Good Luck!! xx
A
male
reader, Pointblank66  +, writes (15 March 2009):
Marrage is a big step and you should never jump into it with doubts. I'm sure that you would rather be alone for a while then be hurt by someone you've committed to. Though if you really love and want to be with thisperson for life I suggest consulling
...............................
|
