A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What are some of the signs that a guy is gay or likes men on the down low? I caught my bfs watching shemale porn. I looked into it and found the mostly straight guys watch that type of porn. He also has a friend who is gay, he said that he didn't know he was gay but I found out via social media, He's openly gay. I don't have a problem with him having gay friends at all. I work for an LGBT agency and when we have events I bring my bf and he gets looks. Even just randomly out at grocery stores gay men look and flirt so I was wondering if their gaydar is sensing that he likes men. We really don't have sex, he doesn't look at my naked body, it's like I don't really turn him on. I talked about our sex life with my friend who's a lesbian and she said maybe into something else meaning men. What are the signs please help
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male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (29 August 2017):
Sit down and have a straight talk with him. Ask him is he gay or bi. The fact that he was looking at shemale porn indicates that he may be trans attracted. There are a lot of guys out there who are but can never admit it. The fact that the two of you don't have an active sex life is a red flag.
Even if he won't come clean if a satisfying sex life is important to you you may need to break up with him for your own good.
Good luck
A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (29 August 2017):
He isn't asexual if he watches porn of any sort. I think shemale porn could be interesting to either straight or gay guys. But it is interesting that he is horny enough to watch porn but not be interested in having sex with you. The situation with his gay friend is very interesting...it sounds like your boyfriend is gay and in the closet. He needs you just for friendship. In any case, you obviously do not turn him on as much as shemales. It is time to say goodbye unless you are happy to continue being just his friend.
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A
male
reader, Riot2017  +, writes (28 August 2017):
RED FLAG #1: "Shemale Porn", NO, Shemale porn is not something that straight men see. It's stuff that BI and GAY dudes do.
RED FLAG #2: Hiding not knowing his GAY friend was GAY. This means that he is hiding something.
BIG RED FLAG #3: "We really don't have sex, he doesn't look at my naked body, it's like I don't really turn him on."
GIRL, you need to move on PLEASE. A man that doesn't wants to have sex with his girlfriend, is a man that it's either gay or has a small p*nis! A man that does not want to see her girlfriend naked, even by peeping, it's not a man, it's anything else but straight.
Normal heterosexual guys gust get turn on at the THOUGHT of seeing their girlfriends naked, or the pure thought of knowing they'll have sex with his woman.
IMHO, your BF is in the closet, and he is using you to meet the social expectations that every XY-gene guy should be straight. Many guys in the closet date with very hot woman just to hide the fact that they are gay.
There is no problem with him being gay at all, even while in the closet. The problem is that you probably need or want to start a family, or need a partner who loves you and wants you emotionally and physically, and that is something that he is not providing you.
If you are straight, then I think you deserve a loving and straight man that gets turned on by seeing you naked, and that loves to know you in a deep and meaningful level.
You deserve better!
Best luck!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 August 2017):
 Have you talked to him about the lack of sex?
I think it is a HUGE leap to decide that your BF could be gay or bisexual because YOU TWO don't have a sex life.
He could also be asexual, it could be a medical issue or that he isn't attracted to you or... he is cheating on you with someone else.
I mean it's anyone's guess.
Are you fulfilled in this sexless relationship?
And not all gay people have a great "gaydar". Many gay men will hit on straight guys because well, you never know?!
As for the shemale porn thing - personally? I don't get it but I actually DO think it has nothing to do with sexual orientation as to who watches that kind of porn. Many straight women enjoy lesbian porn. My guess? Because it caters SOLELY to women and their pleasure - not a dick in sight...
Why NOT have a conversation about the relationship? About sex? If you want an active sex-life and he doesn't then he really isn't such a good match for you.
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