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*oney62002
writes: Please help,Me and my fiance have been together 3 years and have got a house/mortgage last May. The main reason we got the house was that I was unhappy where I was living. I was renting a property near to my University where I am studying.Our relationship has always been volatile and since moving in together it has become worse, there is violence between us and he gets very angry with me over stupid things. Communication is a big problem between us and things get bad because he doesn't talk things through he just hits out.Things have got so bad at times that family have stepped in and helped me move out as they know about the violence. But I always end up going back as it is convenient living there as it is closer to University.We tried relationship councelling and he quit after 4 sessions. I was so upset as I felt it was helping but he couldn't deal with someone telling him how he reacts is wrong.My main problem is that I don't finish Uni until summer and as the house is in his name on the mortgage I'm going to lose everything, he knows that and uses it against me. I can't leave the house yet as I wouldnt be able to get to Uni so I'm having to live in a situation which is scary. I try and keep my head down and not have arguments but they just happen. Im so scared and alone and feel very depressed and trapped.Please help, is it possible to live with someone and not have a relationship? I just need to finish my degree then move back with my Mum. Confidence is at an all time low.any advice would be good thank you
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reader, honey62002 +, writes (21 January 2009):
honey62002 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your advice. You and your family have been through so much and I never want things to get that bad in my situation. I'm still with him and were having a 'good week' no violence - but its no way to live. He knows I will be leaving in a few months if it carries on. I just hope that I can finish Uni without anymore drama. I really appreciate your advice and will read it every time I'm feeling low. Thank you x
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2009): PLEASE READ ALL OF THIS IT MAYBE LONG BUT I NEED FOR YOU TO READ IT!!!!!!!
You do not deserve anything in this manor and for a man to call his self a man but will put his hand on a woman is only a little boy at heart, the thing that you now need to do is set back and take a look at his temper and if he is so easily quick tempered you are dealing with some one that if he hits you one more time he may harm you maybe put u in the hospital or kill you(not meaning to) and I know I shouldn't say that but it happens everyday you hear it every where! Do you want that to be you! Try to step back and look around you is all that worth someone getting hurt and you could get to the point and have enough and do something to him that you regret for the rest of your life!!! My mother was in a very violent relationship for over 10 years and me and my sister witnessed my mom getting her THE H*LL BEAT OUT OF HER and on day the fight lead outside and he punched my mom so hard that she fell (he had the car keys and was getting ready to leave) to the ground and she did not respond to us yelling now mind you I was 6 and my sister was 11 and my mom weighed about 195-200 pounds we could not move her and then next thing you know you hear the car start and he ran over her not once but twice I THANK GOD everyday that she is still alive but like most women he has drained her mentally heart mind and soul so she took him back cause he "Promised he would never do it again" well he did and she brought him within inches of life because she had enough of it and she served 2 months in jail and then they dropped all charges cause it was self defense she washed her hands of him and he never came back!!!!! She finally realized that when someone LOVES you it is never supposed to hurt like that! Everyone has problems but when it becomes violent it is time to end it!!! It is better to have nothing then to have something and to be physically hurt by someone one you love! He sees that you are weak because you have to depend on him cause the house is by the school and whatnot and he knows how important it is to you to graduate but always remember if you leave him IF THERE IS A WILL THERE IS A WAY! Stop hanging your head down pick it cause you are a strong woman you may not think so but you are hold your head up with pride and realize you are worth so much more than that!!!
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