A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I thought that my teenage years were going to be about out who I was and to some extent I have. But I am missing the one thing I desire most, intimacy.I guess the care from my family isn't enough any more. I want someone I care about to feel the same for me. I know lots of girls, I take care of my appearance and it is not enough.I can make girls laugh, have good conversations. The one thing that scares me the most is that I come across as boring, insecure, needy...I've asked out a handful of girls and been rejected. They make me feel like nothing, like I should give up and settle for the first girl that doesn't say no. I want a mutual attraction, to have a reciprocated value.I don't want to be a virgin for the rest of my teenage years and twenties. I want to improve my chances, or if needs be my social skills.What should I do?
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female
reader, Gherkinsaregrim  +, writes (12 May 2011):
Well you sound like a really nice guy, but you come across as quite needy.
The best place to be in, mentally, regarding looking for a relationship is not feeling desperate. Desperation is a massive deterrent!
Try focus on other areas if your life right now and work on getting the confidence where you can say 'what can a girl do to get me?' so you know what your looking for. Settling is never a good idea.
You have your heart in the right place totally and somsat a really lucky girl will get to fully appreciate that!
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