A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm still a virgin, however when I have met the right guy I would like to take things slowly and enjoy myself when the time comes. However I have explored my body and have discovered that the likeliness is that my first time will be very painful, as i have an especially tight hymen. It is not an imperforate hymen, and I havent had any difficulties using tampons but it is quite thick and will not break!!I really really want my first time to the least painful and worrying as possible but unless this is sorted out i'm likely to be humiliated or in a lot of discomfort!Please help, I've heard some gynaecologists perform minor surgery to widen the hymen?I'm too embarrassed to go to my parents! I'm in such a dillema!Not only this but my inner labia are very large, they petrude from my outer labia and i think they are are quite ugly – I’m terrified that my partners will find them disgusting! I'm so embarrassed and ashamed...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CrimzonRayne  +, writes (8 November 2009):
I was once in the same situation you're in my dear.
It won't hurt as bad as you think, just voice to your significant other that you are indeed a virgin, and to take it easy.
The first few times aren't gonna feel like a cake walk, but it's something you'll get over very quickly, and it will become enjoyable.
As far as your labia protruding, guys really don't care about that... More often than not.
If the guy really loves you, he will think your vagina is the prettiest thing he's ever seen.
I have bigger "lips" too.
It's ugly to me too, but I've had a few sexual partners and none of them ever complained.
It's completely understandable to be a little self-conscious... But it'll be okay.
Ultimately you'll become more comfortable with your body... But the only way you'll ever know a man likes your body is if you straight out ask, or through experience.
You can't hide in the closet forever.
And what one man hates, another man loves.
But if he's truly the one, he'll love you no matter what.
Best of luck. :)
A
female
reader, bitterblue  +, writes (7 November 2009):
 Yes, you can break your hymen by surgery but only very rarely is this needed, and in most cases natural intercourse is still the way to go. Even if you encounter difficulties then, there are other methods available before resorting to surgery, like creams and probably relaxation techniques and others. It's most likely that you are worrying in vain. Have you seen or touched other hymens to know yours is especially tight? Please stop worrying, and let things follow their natural course. You don't know how you will react at the moment of intercourse. Being worried and unrelaxed is what can create you problems more than this. I'm sure the aspect of your genitals is also fine, maybe a visit to your doctor will help you regain your peace of mind, I am sure you are perfectly normal. All the best.
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