A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half... we're both definitely in love with eachother. there's just a few things that are really making us fight...Note i'm 18 years old... i have a 2 year old baby (yes i know i'm young) and after i had her i had a massive amount of stretchmarks on my tummy and ever since i've been ridiculously jealous over EVERYTHING... even just pretty girls coming up on TV! never mind girls that pop up in bikinis.. it's like its the end of the world. i was never like this before i got stretchmarks...i know i'm not an ugly person.. i've always been the pretty girl... (not to sound conceded) i have a nice fit body except for that one thing. I feel like i don't want him seeing a girl with a really nice stomach then looking at me and being like ew.... because that's what i do to myself. it's terrible and i want to change i just don't know how. i cry almost every day because of it and i just feel so gross and insecure.. Its not fair because i'm so young and now i have to live with this for the rest of my life. i can never go to the beach and actually enjoy it with my friends.. i get so mad at everything and i ALWAYS no matter what think my boyfriend is looking at someone else. I feel like i should be having fun at this age and loving my life but its the exact opposite and it really really hurts... sometimes to the point where i become extremely depressed. i honestly feel like looks are so important and everyone would rather have someone elses body than mine.. i don't know why it's such a huge deal to me but it's taking over my life and i don't know how to handle it...even when we're having sex... i'll always find a way to hide my stomach... either putting the lights completely off or wearing a sexy outfit... but it just never does it for me... when the lights are off i feel like hes thinking of someone else....or i always feel like hes gonna touch my stomach and be like ew... but then when he ignores my stomach i question him why aren't you touching me? am i groSs? and then it turns into a huge fight where i start crying because i feel so insecure...i just wish i was not like this anymore.. i don't want to be so self conscious and feel the way i do and think the way i think... is there anyone else in this world thats in the same position i am? and if anyone has any suggestions or experiences please let me know
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depressed, insecure, jealous, stretch marks Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, shawnielynn +, writes (26 September 2009):
im the same exact way omg that sounds like something right out of my mouth. i know exactly how you feel. im also very disgusted by porn because im overly jealous and i want to look like that so badly are you like that also?
we just have to embrace our bodies and love them how they are if your guy really loved you then im sure your the only person hes thinking of...unless he watches porn
A
female
reader, 35 +, writes (28 December 2008):
hey i know what you are feeling im 35 and have this too. im a very pretty woman and poeple are always telling me that but they dont see what i see.i understand what you are saying about you and you boyfriend im going through the samething but you have to love yourself it took me years to realize that.now when i look at myself and see my children i dont care.hey i asked one of my old boyfriends did he care and he said you NO you are a mother and i know woman get stretch marks thats apart a womanhood.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2008): well, as i read your question its like looking at a video tape of my life a few years back! i was excactly the same. i had two children a year after each other and my first was at 17! i had just got my first modelling contract 6 months before i fell pregnant then after my stretch marks ruinned my life, i gave up modelling, rowed with all my familly threw my nievness and broke up with the man of my dreams as i felt exactly as you do now! and trust me honey, its not worth it! your fella obviously loves you for you or he would have walked out! also alot of men find stretch marks attractive especially a man whos gained a beautifull baby as its a reminder of what a precious gift youve gave him and you should be proud of that! but i can reccomend bio oil its actually used to cover burns, i used it once a day every morning and now im modelling again and have my man back!you can get it from boots, but its sometimes at wilkinsons for cheaper as it is quite dear but to me it was definatly worth it as i have my life back and now wear my bikini without a care which i never thought i could do again!
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A
male
reader, zahmin89 +, writes (23 December 2008):
Insecurity is human, and for someone who takes their looks as seriously as you seem to, something like that is a serious blow. I would suggest that you talk to him calmly and explain how you feel. I think you will find that he will be receptive and willing to help you.It sounds to me like the problem really is in your head, and so no amount of assurance from him will make you feel completely better. I would suggest that you seek counseling, preferably from a professional. I would suggest taking a look at this site:http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/body-image-23374.htmNamasteNathan
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2008): hun, i totally understand how you feel, and its horrible, but you can get over it. yes, the stretch marks will never completely go away, but you can find ways to forget about them. you need to start telling yourself you are beautiful everyday instead of thinking about the negative things about your body..guys dont care about stretch marks... they really dont!!! im sure you boyfriend thinks you are the most beautiful woman in the world, and if its his kid, im sure hes proud of the stretch marks, cuz to most men they represent that beautiful baby you gave birth to. i know its hard, but you need to put the stretchmarks aside and just be proud to be who you are and be proud to look how you look. keep telling yourself you boyfriend loves you for you and thinks you are beautiful... oh, and also, lotion helps to minimize the appearance of stretch marks, and theres also some special stretch mark lotions you can buy that work amazingly.
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