A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, this is a very long story, but I have tried to make it nice to read....September 2010, I returned to school after a long summer, brimming with uncharacteristic self-confidence and a sense of freedom - with little more than books and knowledge, I felt the world was my oyster. Love was, for the first time in a few years, absolutely the last thing on my mind. As I recall, the 14th of that month was just about the finest autumn day of the year, and it was on this day when, during my usual aimless walks around at break time I sidled up to an old (girl) friend of mine and she introduced me to a new girl who had joined our year group. My first impression was that she was very shy, nice, kind of sweet, but of course I never imagined I would go out with her. We got on well, so I suppose I classified her as "friend" straight away. For a few days we talked and I very quickly realised just how alike this girl and I were. We had so much in common, we were practically soulmates! Then one day, we ended up alone together, sitting opposite each other, happily talking of this and that when she looked up at me, gazed into my eyes and smiled. It occurred to me that that was the sweetest, prettiest, most beautiful smile I had ever seen. I was in love.I was in love with a sweet, innocent, shy girl who in all likelihood had never had a boyfriend. I could sense that she really liked me too and I wanted to tell her how I felt right away, but I thought she wouldn't take it well if she wasn't used to this sort of thing, so I decided to just give her time. We built a close friendship over the next few months and I became more and more convinced she was the one for me.Not to mention loads of people said we would make a cute couple. I felt what it was really like for someone to matter more then anything else, to care for them deeply. A few guys teased me about her and me and I shrugged them off, but on the inside I felt proud. I felt almost a sense of duty towards her, to love her, to cherish her, to make her feel like the most special girl in the world.Things started to change around the beginning of December. Almost suddenly, she started acting a little coldly around me, or even avoided me. I already knew something was up because she had said she was hurt by the way her friend spent all her time with her boyfriend instead of her, and that she was sickened by their kissing in public. Somehow, seeing how love had affected someone she was close to changed her, worried her, unnerved her. It was at this time that she began to distance herself from me, giving us no excuses to talk or be together. A sense of loss pervaded me and my now very deep affection for her began to take hold of me. I felt that I was losing the one I love and started to feel a desperate longing for her to be mine. I thought I had missed my chance with her, or even that somehow she was more confident now, and didn't need me any more. I still needed her, so I summoned up all my courage and did the bravest thing I have ever done in my life - I wrote to her and told her how I felt. It wasn't deep, nor was it particularly romantic, just a brief few lines. (this was on 10th Dec)She told me a day later that she didn't feel that way about me. The last time I was as upset as I was then and still am now, someone had died. We have barely talked since then, and I have become very depressed. I might call today a minor breakthrough: she talked to me of her own accord, and for a few moments we shared a laugh, and a smile - a faint echo of how we once were. But I might just be kidding myself.Well, that's my story. I hope you didn't mind the length and that it wasn't too boring.I would be grateful if you left a comment because, as you can see, it is really important to me that this is all sorted out, so anything to help will be, well, helpful.Thank you x
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depressed, kissing, never had a boyfriend, shy, soulmate Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): Thank you for your answers.
I am perpetually confused as ever, but I feel better for having gotten this off my chest.
Oh, and thanks for the compliments about my writing - it's a hobby of mine.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): Mmm, First of all, you should start writing books.
second,
Theres not much i can say, this is a heartbreaking story, im sure it will all work out, make sure it does.
this is a kinda 'Pat on the back' we can't do much, but were here for ya ;]
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): First of all mate you should start writing books or somrthing that was so easy to read. Secondly, I know exxxactly how you feel about this girl, I am currently going through a similar thingwith a girl I love who has a bf :/ Finally, I would say that the only thing you can do is give the situation time, and try not to be the one starting the conversations with this girl, when girls sense any scent of desperation they get put off you, unless they are in love with you aswell. Good luck bud!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): Okay well first I want to start off by saying that you are an excellent writer.Next, and I know this will probably hurt, but she rejected you once because she didn't feel the same as you and she probably would again because that's how people are. Another reason is, to her, this may not be really a big deal. She might not feel the same impact or change as you did. I say, you either look for someone else (because there are other girls out there) or you chase after her and make sure she understands how much having her friendship (or love) means to you. If you really do care about her, tell her what your wrote here ---- maybe word for word (you could even make it hypothetical). If she rejects you then, then you finally know that she isn't the fully compassionate person you thought she was. Because let me tell you, if any guy said this to me it would make me feel amazing and I could not refuse. Be yourself and follow your heart ~ corny but true. Sincirely,Shizen 3 (I don't believe if luck, but if it exists, I give it all to you.)
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