A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My love life is like something out of a movie and I feel like I'm out of options. A bit of back story, I have been seeing a man now for almost a year who has been my best friend for a long time and we've been engaged for a few months. He's incredibly handsome, he's got a great job, he's honest, faithful, literally storybook perfect and he loves me so fiercely. My best friend in the entire world is his older sister, and the two of them live together as roommates. I basically live at their place.This is where it starts to get a bit tricky. His sister has D.I.D. or Multiple Personality Disorder. I've never actually met his 'sister' or the 'host', but have met almost all of the other alters. All of the Alters that ever actually get time on the conscious floor are men, so they've begun taking hormones to transition the body. Sometimes I actually forget that it's actually my fiancès sister, not truly his 'brother'. But either way, the alters are men. My best friend, is an 18 year old I'll call Ray (the host is 22). My relationship with Ray is completely plantonic and we spend lots of time hanging out, eating pizza and binge-watching shows on Netflix. He's super loving and ultra respectful. He's also the main alter that works and spends the most time conscious out of all of them.Okay, so the problem: I've recently come to learn within the last few weeks that one of the alters, an older man I'll call Kevin, has taken a fancy to me. I learned this because once while we were talking he all of a sudden picked me up and layed me down on the couch, layed on top of me and told me he wished to have sex with me. I told him no and he got off of me and we just continued our discussion from before. (when you're around weirdness all the time, some things don't really phase you anymore). Kevin is extremely intelligent, wise, strong, mysterious, very classy, and usually very modest and quiet. I did not see this coming. Next time, Ray and I were watching a show and he had his arm around me, some time passes and I lool over to see Kevin had switched in and had been the one holding me. We talk for a while and I learn he has had real feelings for me for a long time, and then he asks me to dance with him. I do, and then while we're dancing he pushes me into the wall and the making out got really intense. After a minute I pushed him off and Ray switched back in. I told both Ray and my Fiancè about it and we all worked it out. But today, me and Ray were play wrestling and Kevin switched in while he was on top of me, pinning me down. He didn't kiss me, but there was so much fire and passion in just the way he restrained himself. I love being pinned down and overpowered, which I had to convince my fiancè to do as he was more than okay with me constantly being the more assertive one in bed. Even if he does pin me down, he'll stop and ask me if what he's doing is okay. He never just takes charge which bothers me a bit, but other than that he's a very unselfish lover so I won't complain. But with Kevin, he had all the control in that moment and it was dangerous and sexy and my entire body responded to it even though nothing happened. I can't stop thinking about him. My head knows that I am much better off in my stable, loving relationship, but my heart wants this danger so bad I can barely think about anything else.I cant just separate myself because he can just pop in any time I'm hanging out with my best friend. The dynamic is so messed up. Because Kevin is an alter, he can literally just disappear like nothing ever happened and none of the other alters would know. I know it's wrong, but I think I just need to hear what other people think before I go and do something stupid I may regret. This isn't really something that typically happens to people
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best friend, engaged, older man, roommate, sister in law Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2017): I know all about the appeal of danger and the forbidden.
But you are only going to hurt yourself if you do not distance yourself now.
This is not healthy for you at all.
It is only going to make you into an emotional mess.
No amount of excitement is worth your emotional sanity or health.
You aren't living in reality.
Get help for this addiction and kick this habit.
Before it is too late.
Ask yourself WHY do you need this desperate form of ESCAPE so badly?
What else is going on in your life or within you that you need to hang onto this crutch for fulfillment?
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (9 June 2017):
 This is an unhealthy state of affairs and one you must stem right away. You are allowing yourself to have feeling for a chimera and one that is generated by your partner's sister's mental health issue.
You should remove yourself from contact with her and meet your boyfriend where and when the sister is absent. If this is impossible then break it off with him.
If you continue I see no good outcome.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (9 June 2017):
 You can't play wrestle with someone who isn't your partner. It's silly and easy to turn sexual, as you know.You can't have a relationship with someone who's personality is never the same.You don't love your boyfriend enough, so please leave him. You also are only lusting after their Kevin personality. You can't snuggle up with Ray either. You have blurred boundaries and it's not fair to anyone.Take some time away from this family and think about this realistically. You cannot date someone who is related to your ex-fiancée. You also can't be with someone who only flickers in and out of consciousness.Please, OP. You've allowed yourself to get in this mess by not having clear boundaries and it's important to let go. Get head space and figure out what your next step should be. Being engaged isn't it. Being with your fiancée isn't it. Being with Ray/Kevin isn't it.You need to be single and distance yourself from the multiple personalities and your fiancée. Break up with him and figure out how to move forward without this problem - you're addicted to the drama of it all.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2017): Ooooh messy. You're dealing with demons I see! Be careful, it'll screw you up!
The bit where you say "I can't just separate myself" interested me.
But now I have to go because you're in a lot of danger.
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