A
female
age
30-35,
*edxroses
writes:This year I started at college, and was ambling along, not really worrying about finding a boy but more enjoying being free and single and away from home.But then there was a guy that lived beneath me and is doing the same course I am. I had known him for 2 months, and always been aware that he was good looking, and very friendly, but never really thought anything of it. Then one very small gesture was noticed by a friend and I started paying more attention to him. Over the winter holidays we spoke a lot on messnger and I began to really like him. When we got back to college I began to talk to him a lot more. I'd visit his room a lot, with stupid excuses, and we're talk for hours. There were times I'd leave his room at 3am! All that time though, I never really made a move, and neither did he. I just couldn't tell if he like me or was politely carrying on talking to me. I don't even like to admit it - but I think I love him. He is kind and caring...and ridiculously stubborn! He's not in the slightest bit arrogant and he is a perfect gentleman. This holiday I have talked to him on messenger every night for a good 3 hours each time. He starts the conversations too...sometimes for the most trivial things. It makes me think that he likes me back.But I should explain something about his background. He is from a very strict Indian family, and he wants to follow their wishes. He's never even considered having a girlfriend before. He has come to university to study and I know that even it he does like me, these things are going to cause issues.I really dont know what to do. I have such strong feelings for him, but I'm far too scared of rejection to tell him anything. I really never saw myself as the type of person to worry about this kind of thing so much - to need help. So, what I'm asking is - can I assume at this point that he likes me back? How do I get over the family issue? and should I make the first move?xxxx
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): Dear girl,First of all I am indian male of 36 year old and i can put some light on his side.1) Indian students have come to study seriously and earn money so that they can fulfill the responsibilities of their family. ( which is good thing by the way and not the bad thing in my view but obviously culturally you may differ) 2) They are stable family oriented people ( in 36 year of life time, i have not seen a divorcee women in my eyes for example neither a divorced man ). So he will never leave you if ever he get married to you. 3) Chances are that he may be still virgin. Or at mostly he would have broken it once with some one in states itself.4) He would never express his feeling even today or after wards. in Indians are not like in every phone call they will say "honey i love you". He will never say it but keep loving you. while in USA, partners would keep saying it and keep cheating.. So you need to take lead there.5) He will have hard time going against every family member to get married to you. It will be great heart break for all members in India.So over all i would say just like you get some thing you loose some thing. choice is yours. i have seen marriage between Indian men and foreigner wife successful. So go ahead but only if you have will and commitment level to that extent to adjust accordingly.
A
female
reader, xXxLisxXx  +, writes (12 April 2010):
 What i would do is tell him how you feel, and if your not brave enough to do it in person, do it on the wonderful wonderful messenger. and if truly you love him, it wont matter if your together, so long as both of you know how you feel. his family cant expect him to stay alone forever, right? wait until its time for him to get married, and there you go. for now, i would tell him, and if he is your friend, he wont let it get in the way if he doesnt feel the same way back. but truthfully, i believe he DOES care about you.
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